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Just Slowly Back Away from the Terrifying Foreign Person
Barista: Sir, you can pay for the juice over there.
Middle-aged Brit: But I bought it.
Barista: No you didn't.
Middle-aged Brit: Yes, I did -- at another place.
Barista: Yeah, oookay [rolls eyes].
Middle-aged Brit: I really did.
Barista: Yeah, oookay.
Middle-aged Brit: What the fuck is your problem?
Barista: Well, you just stole juice, and you're being an ass, so you can leave now.
Middle-aged Brit: Excuse--
Old lady Brit: --Alexander, just stop talking! He could shoot you!
--Starbucks, Fashion District
Overheard by: only in new york
Engorged and Tingling Wednesday One-Liners
Drunk Brit with arm around ugly lady: Oh, Jesus, just walking is making me horny.
--10th & 2nd
Overheard by: emilia
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Your hair is making me horny.
--B train
Overheard by: Janelle
Guy in hoodie: I don't know -- rain gear just doesn't really turn me on.
--Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ktg
Loud woman: According to recent research, a nine-month-old fetus can experience an erection.
--Bus to Staten Island
Chick on cell: ... And he was, like, rubbing his erection on me, and I was like, 'Dude, you're rubbing your erection on me...'
--Fordham University
Lady: What are horny men doing at Build-a-Bear, anyway?
--40th & 5th
Overheard by: don't wanna know
Vegas Is My Promiscuous Sex City, and LA Is for Cocaine
British boy: I thought you weren't smoking anymore.
British girl: I only smoke when I'm in New York City.
--Outside the Wellington
In Folly Ripe, in Reason Rotten
British hipster: Is that your feet I smell?
British bimbo: No, it's my fuckin' pussy!
--Duane Reade, 2nd St & Ave B
