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I Kinda Thought He Paid That Bill Already
Cheery religious pamphlet guy: Good morning, miss! Would you like to suffer for Christ?
Woman in a hurry: Um, no...
Cheery religious pamphlet guy: Okay, have nice day!
--Steinway St station
Odds Are That Petra Will Deny Him Twice More before Morning
Black guy: I'm Jesus!
Woman: No, you're not.
Black guy: Lady, I'm Jesus!
--A train
Overheard by: LSB
On Tomorrow's Celebrity Death Match: Vishnu v. Thor
Black Bible-thumper: Jesus will save you! Have you been saved? Praise Jesus!
Passerby: Praise Allah!
Black Bible-thumper: Fuck you, motherfucker! Jesus will kick your ass!
--42nd & 8th
Overheard by: The Jewish Asian
You Mean I'm One of Those Assholes?
Guy #1: So we went to a baptism yesterday.
Guy #2: Wait, you're Catholic. Not Baptism. I'm Baptism.
Guy #1: You're Baptist.
--Times Square
It's Like Catholics Who Get Divorced or Have Abortions
Shiksa girl #1: Oh, now I get it!
Shiksa girl #2: Get what?
Shiksa girl #1: Jews for Jesus. See, Jews don't usually believe in Jesus, but these ones do.
Shiksa girl #2: That totally makes sense. That's why they're called "Jews for Jesus"!
Jewish dude: They're not Jews. They're Christians.
Shiksa girl #2: But it says "Jews for Jesus"!
Jewish dude: If you believe in Jesus, you aren't a Jew.
Shiksa girl #1: I don't get it.
--Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: Lauren Lerner
To Be Fair, She's Really More Of a Cyborg
20-Something #1: My roommate was this die-hard Christian.
20-Something #2: Born again?
20-Something #1: No, just regular.
20-Something #2: What's the difference?
Pause.
20-Something #1: I don't really know.
20-Something #2: My first roommate was, too. She liked this one lady, Joyce Meyers.
20-Something #1: I didn't know that women could be priestesses in the Catholic religion.
--Bryant Park
Overheard by: jtango
Before AD 1, It Was Burgers Or Nothing
Little girl: Mommy, look at the fishes!
Mother: You know where all these creatures come from?
Girl: Jesus?
Mother: You betcha.
--New York Aquarium, Coney Island
Overheard by: Swear I'm not listening...
Gee, Let's See if Kansas Starts to Riot
Guy #1: Is she blind or something?
Guy #2: No, she's Christian.
Guy #1: Oh...Same thing I guess.
--11th & B
It's Not As If Bullets Hurt Him
Guy: Did you hear that the dude who shot the Pope got let go from jail?
Girl: Yeah, and the Pope forgave him and everything.
Guy: Wow, I totally want to shoot the Pope now!
Girl: Yeah, he'd probably be cool with it.
--E train
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Scenes From a Giuliani Presidency
Charity mugger: Hey, you girls like puppies, right?
Girl #1: I hate puppies.
Charity mugger: Umm, well you want to help the Katrina victims, right?
Girl #1: I hate Southerners.
Girl #2: New Orleans was a place of sin. Good riddance.
--Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall station
The Ironing is Delicious
Man: A woman was killed today by a falling cross.
Woman: Oh my God!
--Madison & 42nd
