<b><a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/004925.html">Wednesday One-liners Count Calories</a></b><br/> Woman on cell: Caviar? Nigga, ain't no caviar in Harlem. --57th & 8th <p> Leather guy: Do you know where I can find some really fabulous cupcakes? --The Eagle, West 28th Street Overheard by: Geo Cop: You know what you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?...Donuts. --Hudson & Front Tween girl: Yo, free burgers and shit, nigga! --59th Street-Lexington Avenue N/R/W station Overheard by: Johnny Tremaine Teen boy: Green tea is mad good for your prostate. --183rd & Fort Washington Man: Fuck that shit. Since you been hitting that, it's been like you're on some sort of vegan dessert island. --Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street Overheard by: Smokey Chick: Are Whoppers big? --Burger King, Bay Ridge Overheard by: Monique Giangrande Chugger woman: Excuse me, would you like to sign a petition to reduce the cost of Swiss cheese? --Columbus Circle Overheard by: bugkat Girl: I am the Velveeta heiress. --38th & Park Crazy guy: These women are like Cheez Whiz. Fucking American cheese, man. --1 train Overheard by: zz Dude: There is some shit you just can't share. Like my Kit Kat. If I share my Kit Kat with you, that's one-fourth! Twenty-five percent, son. No way. And don't even come up around my Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. <em>Fitty percent</em>? Get the hell out of my face! --A train Overheard by: Mulcackalacky Woman: The first time he paid me a lot of money to have sex with him and a friend. So the second night, we did it again. The third night, he asked me out to lunch. --Williamsburg Teen girl: How is Sprite subliminal? --A train Guy on cell: Man, I'm telling you, you have to get into pastrami. It's the money meat! --Broadway & Grand Overheard by: Bert Berry Girl: I just paid 6 bucks for some nasty-ass food that I had to throw away! I mean it was gross. If it was just nasty, I would have ate it, 'cause you know, I paid 6 bucks for it, but it was <em>gross</em>. --26th & 7th Hobo: Can anyone spare some change? In order to get a job, you need an ID and an address. I have neither. I would really like both. Can you help me out with some change or some food you're not going to eat? Perhaps a matzoh ball. Matzoh, matzoh ball. Man, I'd give anything for a matzoh ball. --R train Overheard by: a guy who had no matzo<br/>via <a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/">Overheard in New York</a>, Mar 29, 2006