<b><a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/006376.html">Wednesday One-Liners Keep Things on Track</a></b><br/> Conductor: This is an express, uptown C train. You heard right: an express C train. Next stop: 125th Street. If you need local service on the Upper West Side, please transfer across the platform to the D, as in "Daddy done did it" or B, as in "bad boy Bobby Brown" train.<br/><br/>--C train, 59th St<br/><br/>Conductor: This is a Brooklyn bound B train. Like bitch.<br/><br/>--B train<br/><br/>Conductor: We are currently being held in the station because of some other A train fucking us all over.<br/><br/>--Uptown A train<br/><br/>Overheard by: la di da<br/><br/>Conductor: Never give up on life. Keep hope alive. This is 30th Avenue.<br/><br/>--N train, Astoria<br/><br/>Overheard by: trying to shake off a Red Lobster feast<br/><br/>Conductor: Thank you for riding the C train and remember: smile and the world smiles with you.<br/><br/>--C train<br/><br/>Overheard by: NYGirlieGirl<br/><br/>Conductor: You can switch to the A train across the platform. However, I would much rather you stay on this train.<br/><br/>--Downtown C train, 14th St<br/><br/>Overheard by: alxie<br/><br/>Conductor: This train is very crowded. If you cannot fit, please step back and wait for the next train. If you manage to get onto this very crowded train, look at the person next to you and tell them, "Howdy!"<br/><br/>--Queens bound F train<br/><br/>Conductor: Step in and stand clear of the good news.<br/><br/>--F train, 34th St<br/><br/>Overheard by: prairiesquid<br/><br/>Conductor: Hello, and welcome to the mobile sauna bath.<br/><br/>--A train<br/><br/>Overheard by: english dude<br/><br/>Conductor: This is 175th Street. This is an A train to...This is an A train to... to nothing! Hey, does anyone know where we're going?<br/><br/>--A train, 175th St<br/><br/>Overheard by: Brown Eyed Girl<br/><br/>Conductor: All right, there's a 3 train across the platform. Hurry up and make your connection, people. Get to steppin', get to steppin'!<br/><br/>--1 train, Times Square<br/><br/>Conductor, angrily: Yo, stand clear o' the closing doors o' my choo-choo!<br/><br/>--PATH train<br/><br/><br/>via <a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/">Overheard in New York</a>, Aug 2, 2006