<b><a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/008034.html">Essence Of NYC: A Play in One Act</a></b><br/> <!-- ID = 40824 -->Bimbo tourist #1: Anyway, so when he pulled it out of me it made this farting noise, and I know it wasn't a fart because it didn't smell, and... It was just really embarrassing.<br/>Bimbo tourist #2: Quip.<br/>Bimbo tourist #1: What?<br/>Bimbo tourist #2: A quip. The farting noise, it's called a 'quip.'<br/>Bimbo tourist #1: Oh, they have a name for it? Wow.<br/>Bimbo tourist #2: Oh, totally. It happens to a lot of people.<br/>Stranger: Um, that's not right.<br/>Bimbo tourist #2: Excuse me, sir?<br/>Stranger: No, it's 'queef.'<br/>Bimbo tourist #2: Wait, what?<br/>Bimbo tourist #1: I think he's saying his name is 'Queef' or something.<br/>Bimbo tourist #2: Oh, sorry. Excuse me, Queef?<br/>Stranger: No... Oh, lord. The sound, it's 'queef.'<br/>Bimbo tourist #2: Who's a 'queef'? What's going on?<br/>Bimbo tourist #1: I think he's one of those crazy subway guys you hear about. I think he's telling us he's gay.<br/>Stranger: I can hear you, and I'm not... What? That's 'queer,' you ingrate!<br/>Bimbo tourist #1: Here's some money for you, sir. Buy your boyfriend a nice grocery cart or something.<br/>Stranger: What?! Does it look like I'm homeless to you? I'm wearing fucking YSL over here... I ain't queer and I ain't homeless. You ignorant, you skinny, Paris Hilton-wannabe whores. All I was saying to you was that when your sleazy-ass friend over here pulled her boyfriend's dick out of her STD-ridden pussy, the word...<br/>Bimbo tourist #1: I'm not following... Is he speaking Cockney or something?<br/>Bimbo tourist #2: I don't know. Are you allowed to mace crazy hobos?<br/>Stranger: ...<i>I'm not fucking crazy</i>!<br/>Bimbo tourist #2: Of course you aren't, sir.<br/>Passenger: Oh, shut your mouth, both of ya, or I'm gonna whoop both your scrawny asses, you hear?<br/>Stranger: Thank you. All I was saying was...<br/>Old lady: Ah, hell no! Can't you see this conversation has gone past anyone in this damn subway's comprehension? Know when to drop it, brother. Know when to drop it.<br/>Bimbo tourist #2: [Mouthing] Oh my god.<br/>Bimbo tourist #1: I know. That was intense.<br/>Stranger, muttering to himself: ... Last time I ever take a subway... Unbelievable shit I put up with... Fucking Civics... Unreliable fuckers...<br/><br/>--L train<br/>via <a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/">Overheard in New York</a>, Nov 28, 2006