<b><a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/008822.html">Wednesday One-Liners Will TiVo It</a></b><br/> <!-- ID = 37496 -->Guy: I sold everything -- the script, TV episodes, merchandising rights... They paid me two million dollars. It sucks, because after I pay off debts and taxes I'll only have one million, and that doesn't go as far as it used to.<br/><br/>--MoMA lobby<br/><br/>Overheard by: foofoo<br/><br/><!-- ID = 39844 -->Fat chick: ... So I was like, 'Mom, what the fuck? I don't need a diet.' Then she goes, 'But your doctor told you that you're a hundred pounds overweight -- eat healthier!' Then I just told her, 'Screw you!' I'd rather go on Maury than lose weight!<br/><br/>--Guggenheim Museum<br/><br/>Overheard by: Maury Povich's viewer<br/><br/><!-- ID = 39863 -->Tween girl running towards crime scene minutes after a shooting: We's gonna be on TV, nigga!<br/><br/>--137th &amp; Broadway<br/><br/>Overheard by: Ladle<br/><br/><!-- ID = 43025 -->Liberace wannabe on cell: ... And I thought, '<i>Thank God,</i>! She likes AbFab! At last, I can talk to her on a level playing field!'<br/><br/>--44th &amp; 9th<br/><br/><!-- ID = 40123 -->Conductor: There's another local train directly behind this one. Plenty of seats, color TV, open bar.<br/><br/>--W train to Astoria<br/><br/>Overheard by: MissPinkKate<br/><br/><br/>via <a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/">Overheard in New York</a>, Jan 24, 2007