<b><a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/008902.html">Wednesday One-Liners, Your Guides to the Underworld</a></b><br/> <!-- ID = 41822 -->Conductor: Girls on the platform, get on the train. You are making the right choice.<br/><br/>--Manhattan-bound C train<br/><br/>Overheard by: Fish<br/><br/><!-- ID = 43975 -->Conductor: This is Second Ave. Transfer here to the V train. Ladies and gentlemen, the V train across the platform will leave first. [Train empties out.] Psych! [F train leaves first.]<br/><br/>--Crowded F train, 2nd Ave<br/><br/>Overheard by: Jas<br/><br/><!-- ID = 44142 -->Conductor: Go on, now -- walk out the door. Just turn around now... Last stop.<br/><br/>--LIRR<br/><br/>Overheard by: not welcome anymore<br/><br/><!-- ID = 45083 -->Conductor, not into mic: Yes, I know this is Broadway. Stop touching that -- just stay still for, like, five seconds... God! I swear to God and Jesus and whoever else, if you don't stop doin' things, I'm gonna leave you at the next stop! [Into mic] High Street, Brooklyn Bridge, this a Manhattan-bound F train. Stand clear of the closing doors, please. [Not into mic] That is it! This is so the last time I take you to work with me, you little-- [mic turns off].<br/><br/>--F train, East Broadway<br/><br/>Overheard by: Mike N<br/><br/><!-- ID = 45278 -->Conductor: This is not a stop! This is not a stop! This is not a stop! [Train stops.] Okay, we're stopping, but I'm not opening the doors!<br/><br/>--njt<br/><br/><!-- ID = 45771 -->Conductor: This is Grand Central station. Connections can be made here to the A, C, E, N, Q, W, R, and S trains. The rest of the alphabet is not included. Good luck.<br/><br/>--6 train<br/><br/><br/>via <a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/">Overheard in New York</a>, Jan 31, 2007