<b><a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/013300.html">The Excited Titter of Wednesday One-Liners</a></b><br/> <p><!-- ID = 73042 -->Tech director: I don't need dirty, rusty, random screws.<br/><br/>--Lincoln Center Institute<br/><br/>Overheard by: Brina<br/><br/><!-- ID = 74960 -->Excitable Islamic Studies professor: ... And what happened when the woodcutter spoke to Mohammed? Yes! He gave him wood! This man, he gave Mohammed wood! And why could only this man give Mohammed wood? Just because he was a woodcutter? No! And do you know what happened when this man gave Mohammed wood? Mohammed's wood exploded into flowers! Yes!<br/><br/>--Eugene Lang College<br/><br/>Overheard by: amelia<br/><br/><!-- ID = 76006 -->Man on conference call speakerphone: Our card penetration was not what we expected from the district. Lucy*, can you tell everyone how you got such good penetration at your store this month?<br/><br/>--The Gap, Queens<br/><br/><!-- ID = 76104 -->Conductor: No! No doors in my rear! Not in my rear!<br/><br/>--A train, Broadway Junction<br/><br/>Overheard by: amused<br/><br/><!-- ID = 77286 -->Grandmother tourist to granddaughter: Wanna grab a pole, Lacey?<br/><br/>--6 train, 51st St<br/><br/>Overheard by: With a name like that......<br/><br/><!-- ID = 77705 -->Chick on cell: I sat on a Camelback's nipple, and now my ass is wet.<br/><br/>--Harlem<br/><br/>Overheard by: Ladle<br/><br/><!-- ID = 78029 -->Woman with big bag squeezing past for a seat: Sorry -- once I'm in, you won't even feel me.<br/><br/>--LIRR<br/><br/>Overheard by: Rebecca<br/><br/></p><br/>via <a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/">Overheard in New York</a>, Jan 23, 2008