<b><a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/014916.html">All Wednesday One-Liners Over Six Ounces Will Be Confiscated</a></b><br/> <!-- ID = 81966 -->[Plane lands, bounces 20 feet into the air, finally slams back to earth, knocking all the oxygen masks out.]<br/>Flight Attendant: Thank you for choosing American Airlines, ladies and gentlemen, obviously we have have landed...<br/><br/>--LaGuardia Airport<br/><br/>Overheard by: M. Smith/Terrified Passenger<br/><br/><!-- ID = 82221 -->Flight Attendant: Chicken or beef? Chicken or beef? ... Don't think about it too long honey, they taste like cardboard.<br/><br/>--United Flight<br/><br/><!-- ID = 88121 -->Flight Attendant: We have two lavatories in the back of the plane and one in the front. Please use them.<br/><br/>--LaGuardia Airport<br/><br/><!-- ID = 91174 -->Pilot: Remember, there are 50 ways to leave your lover, but only 8 ways out of this aircraft.<br/><br/>--JFK Runway<br/><br/>Overheard by: cms<br/><br/><!-- ID = 91441 -->Pilot, after an unusually smooth landing: God damn, that landin' was butta!<br/><br/>--Jet Blue JFK<br/><br/><br/>via <a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/">Overheard in New York</a>, Jun 4, 2008