<b><a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/017580.html">Wednesday One-Liners Win the Door Prize</a></b><br/> <!-- ID = 100705 -->N train conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, &quot;stand clear of the closing doors&quot; does not mean &quot;throw yourself into the closing doors inflicting bodily harm to yourself.&quot;<br/><br/>--N Train<br/><br/><!-- ID = 102716 -->Sassy male train conductor: Yo! Release the doors so the train can leave the station! There&#39;s another train behind this one. We can wait here all day, ladies and gentlemen, I&#39;m already at work. (pause) Okay, well it seems that people just aren&#39;t ready to move yet! Oh...oh...there we go! Well done! How about a round of applause?<br/><br/>--A Downtown Express<br/><br/><!-- ID = 109908 -->Train conductor over loudspeaker: We&#39;re having a problem with the doors. That&#39;s not me closing them on you. These doors have a mind of their own.<br/><br/>--NJ Transit<br/><br/><!-- ID = 102740 -->Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please stand clear of the closing doors. If I catch you holding the doors open, I will push you off the train and if you don&#39;t die, then you&#39;ll have to catch the next one.<br/><br/>--NJ Transit<br/><br/><!-- ID = 100972 -->Irate conductor: Ladies and gentleman, putting your baby stroller between the closing doors is a wonderful way to show your child that you care. It will also save on college tuition. There will be another q train, but there will never be another baby like that one. Please stand clear of the closing doors.<br/><br/>--Q Train<br/><br/>Overheard by: Himani<br/><br/><br/>via <a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/">Overheard in New York</a>, Jan 7, 2009