Overheard in New York2009-11-20T20:01:06ZThe Voice of the Citytag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2Movable TypeCopyright (c) 2009, Overheard in New YorkLuckily, They're the Only Two People Who Can Stand Each Other2009-11-20T20:01:06Z2009-11-20T20:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209752009-11-20T20:00:00Z20-something redhead to friend, while texting: Wait... Maryland is down, and New York is up, right? I mean map-wise.Friend: What the fuck?20-something redhead, no longer texting: I had so much fun tonight. Can we do this again... lately?Friend: Uhhh, do...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.com20-something redhead to friend, while texting: Wait... Maryland is down, and New York is up, right? I mean map-wise. Friend: What the fuck? 20-something redhead, no longer texting: I had so much fun tonight. Can we do this again... lately? Friend: Uhhh, do you mean "soon"? 20-something redhead: Yeah. Soon, lately, you know what I mean.
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We Finished the Cashews. That's a Pen.2009-11-20T17:01:08Z2009-11-20T17:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209742009-11-20T17:00:00ZWoman #1: These almonds are great.Woman #2: These are cashews. We finished all the almonds earlier.Woman #1: These cashews are great.--Grand Central...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comWoman #1: These almonds are great. Woman #2: These are cashews. We finished all the almonds earlier. Woman #1: These cashews are great.
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Would "Your Lips!!!" Be an Inappropriate Answer?2009-11-20T14:01:05Z2009-11-20T14:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209732009-11-20T14:00:00ZCustomer: I'd like a footlong meatball sub on wheat.Manager: What would you like on your balls, sir?--Subway RestaurantOverheard by: Mondoman...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCustomer: I'd like a footlong meatball sub on wheat. Manager: What would you like on your balls, sir?
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It's in a Bucket Labeled "KFC"2009-11-20T11:01:22Z2009-11-20T11:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209722009-11-20T11:00:00ZGeorgia hick: We need to see if our animals are here.Flight attendant: Um, how many do you have?Georgia hick: One. A chicken.--LaGuardia AirportOverheard by: Dave...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comGeorgia hick: We need to see if our animals are here. Flight attendant: Um, how many do you have? Georgia hick: One. A chicken.
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Worst. Timecop Sequel. Ever.2009-11-20T10:46:39Z2009-11-20T08:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209712009-11-20T08:00:00ZCustomer: My MetroCard isn't working.Booth agent: Is it expired?Customer: No, it's good until the end of the year.Booth agent, looking at card: You're right, let me check it. (swipes card) Oh, you can't use it today because you already used...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comCustomer: My MetroCard isn't working. Booth agent: Is it expired? Customer: No, it's good until the end of the year. Booth agent, looking at card: You're right, let me check it. (swipes card) Oh, you can't use it today because you already used it tomorrow. Customer, looking confused: Oh-kaaay... Booth agent: I will buzz you through today, but see your office administrator about this.
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For Instance, If She's a Relative.2009-11-20T10:47:24Z2009-11-20T05:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209702009-11-20T05:00:00Z20-something guy #1: You don't go to see a bitch without a condom.20-something guy #2: Depending on how well I know her, yeah I do.--QueensOverheard by: Tara...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.com20-something guy #1: You don't go to see a bitch without a condom. 20-something guy #2: Depending on how well I know her, yeah I do.
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Or Have an IQ Above 502009-11-20T10:47:25Z2009-11-20T02:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209692009-11-20T02:00:00ZGirl: Wow, you are really tall!Guy: Yeah, I know...Girl: No, seriously, you're like as tall as that Ying Yang guy!Guy: What? Who? Oh, you mean Yao Ming?Girl, laughing: Oh yeah, whatever, I don't watch baseball.--NYU...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comGirl: Wow, you are really tall! Guy: Yeah, I know... Girl: No, seriously, you're like as tall as that Ying Yang guy! Guy: What? Who? Oh, you mean Yao Ming? Girl, laughing: Oh yeah, whatever, I don't watch baseball.
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Who Says You Can't Win an Argument?2009-11-20T10:47:26Z2009-11-19T23:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209682009-11-19T23:00:00ZGirl #1: Stop pushing!Girl #2: You stop pushing!Girl #1: Stop pushing or I'm gonna punch your fat teeth into your fat face!--F TrainOverheard by: goodstuff...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comGirl #1: Stop pushing! Girl #2: You stop pushing! Girl #1: Stop pushing or I'm gonna punch your fat teeth into your fat face!
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What Runs Through Parents' Minds When They Picture Their Kids in the Big Apple2009-11-20T10:47:27Z2009-11-19T20:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209672009-11-19T20:00:00ZDrunk hobo: You guys are attractive. You got the hair thing going on and you have the sideburns working for you. (flexes biceps)Teenage boys: Ummm... Thanks.Drunk hobo: Guys... listen. Guys... birds of a feather fly together. Birds of a feather...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comDrunk hobo: You guys are attractive. You got the hair thing going on and you have the sideburns working for you. (flexes biceps) Teenage boys: Ummm... Thanks. Drunk hobo: Guys... listen. Guys... birds of a feather fly together. Birds of a feather fly together. You don't see seagulls flying with pigeons or pigeons flying with seagulls. Birds of a feather fly together! You guys have any money? (they give him some change, he walks away) Sketchy man overlooking: Wow... that guy was crazy. Do you kids want some weed or some blow?
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Now That's Customer Service2009-11-20T10:47:28Z2009-11-19T17:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209662009-11-19T17:00:00ZIndian counter-person #1 to girl buying beer: Do you want a straw?Girl: No, thanks.Indian counter-person #2: I hear you get more fucked up if you drink it from a straw.--Spring & MottOverheard by: Clannah...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comIndian counter-person #1 to girl buying beer: Do you want a straw? Girl: No, thanks. Indian counter-person #2: I hear you get more fucked up if you drink it from a straw.
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Everybody Says That, but They Never Return2009-11-20T10:47:29Z2009-11-19T14:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209652009-11-19T14:00:00ZGirl: I don't know why people think my relationship with my roommate is weird...Friend: What do you mean?Girl: Yeah, well, cuz people hate the fact we like spooning with each other.Friend: I need more sugar in my coffee... be right...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comGirl: I don't know why people think my relationship with my roommate is weird... Friend: What do you mean? Girl: Yeah, well, cuz people hate the fact we like spooning with each other. Friend: I need more sugar in my coffee... be right back.
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Where You're Given Sponges Instead Of Soap?2009-11-20T10:47:30Z2009-11-19T11:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209642009-11-19T11:00:00ZBimbo #1 with yoga mat: Have you ever done the two-hour boot camp workout thing?Bimbo #2 with yoga mat: No, but I hear it's as bad as being in a contraception camp.--72nd & Columbus...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comBimbo #1 with yoga mat: Have you ever done the two-hour boot camp workout thing? Bimbo #2 with yoga mat: No, but I hear it's as bad as being in a contraception camp.
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But Would It Help If You Knew That "Cocaine" Was the Name Of a Hooker?2009-11-20T10:47:31Z2009-11-19T08:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209632009-11-19T08:00:00ZOld hobo sitting on sidewalk to grad student: Hey man! You want some cocaine? Grad student: No, thanks man.Old hobo: Alright, have a good night. Grad student: You too.--ChelseaOverheard by: tee hee :)...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comOld hobo sitting on sidewalk to grad student: Hey man! You want some cocaine? Grad student: No, thanks man. Old hobo: Alright, have a good night. Grad student: You too.
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Should We Set Them Up?2009-11-20T10:47:31Z2009-11-19T05:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209622009-11-19T05:00:00ZConstruction worker #1: My boss, he's got a mustache like Hitler.Construction worker #2: Mine's a Jew.--Astoria...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comConstruction worker #1: My boss, he's got a mustache like Hitler. Construction worker #2: Mine's a Jew.
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Wednesday One-Liners Are Simply Scrotacular2009-11-20T10:47:32Z2009-11-19T02:00:00Ztag:www.overheardinnewyork.com,2009://2.209612009-11-19T02:00:00ZTourist mom with mullet, trying to take a picture of cute five-year old boy: Stand by the testicles, honey. Stand by the balls!--Wall Street BullOverheard by: oh touristsSuit to street vendor: You spend the money and get blue balls...--Astor PlaceOverheard...Djlindeedanielle@overheardinnewyork.comTourist mom with mullet, trying to take a picture of cute five-year old boy: Stand by the testicles, honey. Stand by the balls!
--Wall Street Bull
Overheard by: oh tourists
Suit to street vendor: You spend the money and get blue balls...
--Astor Place
Overheard by: Colin
Guy on cell: Fucking shit! What the fuck? This fucking shit is fucking messed up! (pause) Whatever, mommy... just get me a large, it'll give me more room for my balls.
--97th St & Madison Ave
Big guy in chair on sidewalk to friend: So, I ate a pair of balls last night. Lamb balls. Hot and spicy.
--Heath St & 231st St
Overheard by: Km
Ghetto man to Dunkin' Donuts cashier: Yo, how much is da balls?