Overheard In New York http://www.overheardinnewyork.com Wed, 28 Sep 2016 05:23:47 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5.4 Texas: 1 New York City: 2,930,987 http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/018444.html Wed, 28 Sep 2016 05:23:47 +0000 Old lady to young man helping her carry heavy bags: What a nice gentleman! Thank you!
Young man: I am not from here. If you go to Texas, you would not have to carry bags anymore! –Midtown Overheard by: SH

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Different Noodles, Honey http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/024366.html Tue, 27 Sep 2016 05:19:31 +0000 Little tourist kid, waving arms: Chinatown! Chinatown!
Tourist mom, looking at map: No, no, this is Little Italy.
Little tourist kid: Chinatown! Chinatown! –Mulberry & Kenmare

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Wednesday One-liners, One Leg at a Time http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/003088.html Sun, 25 Sep 2016 05:14:23 +0000 Woman on cell: Hey! Hey can you hear me? Listen, I have the extra pair of underwear from the colonoscopy and I forgot to take them out of my bag… –12th Street & 7th Avenue Overheard by: Caroline

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Spencer Pratt, Is That You? http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019954.html Sat, 24 Sep 2016 05:09:38 +0000 Passer-by to hobo: Nice chair!
Hobo: Why, thank you, I'm a professional bum. –5th Ave & 22nd St

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I Told You He Had Some Kennedy Blood in Him http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/010155.html Fri, 23 Sep 2016 05:03:09 +0000 Little boy in stroller pats a woman on the thigh reaching for a chain hanging from her pocket. Woman: Oh, no! You don’t touch strange women! You don’t touch strange women! Otherwise they might touch you back… Oh, aren’t you a sweetheart?! [To his parents] Oh, yeah. He knows what he’s doing. –Brooklyn-bound L train

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And How Drunk Are You? http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019822.html Thu, 22 Sep 2016 05:00:00 +0000 Guy, singing: “I want to be a part of it/ New York/ New York…”
Passing woman: Where the fuck are you from? –38th & 7th Overheard by: Agrees with woman

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…But It Gets Blown a Lot. http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019813.html Wed, 21 Sep 2016 04:54:59 +0000 Tall, hot hipster brunette: I mean, when I see girls flocking around him when he's DJing I just think “oh, they are DJ whores.”
Little Asian friend: Uh-huh.
Tall, hot hipster brunette: But this girl has never seen him DJ or anything. I don't get it. It's beyond my level of comprehension.
Little Asian friend: It's okay, me too.
Tall, hot hipster brunette: It's like he has a slut whistle and we cannot hear that frequency. –Brooklyn Overheard by: muffin

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Does Hallmark Make a Card for That? http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019959.html Tue, 20 Sep 2016 04:46:36 +0000 Middle-aged woman #1: Do you still see Paul and Adira?
Middle-aged woman #2: Well, I could call them any time.
Middle-aged woman #1: But then you'd have to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: It's not that I don't want to have a relationship with them…
(pause)
Middle-aged woman #1: But you don't want to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: Exactly. –Columbus Circle

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Crazy in the Head, Crazy in the Bed http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/001730.html Mon, 19 Sep 2016 04:42:29 +0000 Asian guy: She’s crazy. She’s obsessed with death!
Pudgy White guy: But she’s hot.
Black guy: So what?
Pudgy White guy: Yeah, she’s crazy…but she’s hot. They kind of balance each other out, you know? –F train Overheard by: emdashes Boyfriend: What about kitty?
Girlfriend: Oh, I could eat kitty. No really, I could make a great stir-fry with the cat.
Boyfriend: You would eat my cat?
Girlfriend: Ah, that would be a great way to get at you: eat your cat. –St. Mark’s Place

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Insults Are Their Cardio. http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/024834.html Sun, 18 Sep 2016 04:39:43 +0000 Skinny chick in designer clothing: Yeah, well she also said that you have flat hair.
Skinny chick in designer clothing dripping in diamonds, nonchalantly: Yeah, well you can tell her that my father ate her father's pathetic excuse for a company for breakfast this morning and intends to stop by again for lunch to rip the CEO plate off his office door and shove it up his ass.
Skinny chick in designer clothing: Okay. I'll also add that she didn't get into Georgetown and you did. That'll sting.
Skinny chick in designer clothing dripping in diamonds: And don't forget to throw in that witty line I had about her nose job looking like it was done by Ray Charles.
Skinny chick in designer clothing: Pfffft. Fucking Red Sox fans. –Penn Station Overheard by: mel

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