Overheard In New York

Order Up

admin — Tue, 21 May 2013 15:30:38 +0000

Taco Bell Lady: 1 Beef Burrito.
Customer: As in 296? Is that order 296?
Taco Bell Lady: Yeah.
Customer: Are you sure? I don’t want to take someone else’s.
Taco Bell Lady: Uh huh.
Customer [under his breath]: Do you know where you are? –Taco Bell, West Village

That’s an Order

admin — Tue, 21 May 2013 14:29:01 +0000

20-something woman: You’re going to worship my mother when you meet her.
Man: I will?
Woman: Yes. Because I do. – Pizzeria, Boerum Hill

Clark Kent cum Superman!

admin — Tue, 21 May 2013 13:27:05 +0000

Hipster: That’s the phone booth where I lost my virginity! – Bedford Ave, Williamsburg

Those Table-clearing Hooligans

admin — Tue, 21 May 2013 12:25:21 +0000

Russian Lady: Oh no, he’s too gentle to be a teacher. He went there before and the kids did whatever they wanted. They took everything from the tables. –D Train

2+3=4?

admin — Tue, 21 May 2013 11:24:02 +0000

Guy: It seems like the first couple of seasons of the Sopranos were exciting, but the last few have been boring. –D Train

Bird’s Eye for the Straight Guy

admin — Tue, 21 May 2013 10:21:38 +0000

Man digging through trash can: Hey, this shirt isn’t bad. I could use it for my bird. –Spring St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley

Happiness or Possession?

admin — Tue, 21 May 2013 09:18:23 +0000

Older woman: It seems like you’re really happy!
Younger man: Yes, I am. And it seems like Jonah is really happy, too.
Older woman: We think that happiness is over-rated. We are not happy. We are possessed. – Gallery opening on Rivington St.

Yes, Shrapnel is Hi-larious

admin — Tue, 21 May 2013 08:16:51 +0000

Cop #1: That was a fun job. That was exciting.
Cop #2: Oh, come on.
Cop #1: When he said, “I’ll go in, you stay here”, I really thought we had a bomb there. –Bay Parkway Subway Station

Loving Teenagers

admin — Tue, 21 May 2013 07:14:49 +0000

Teenage girl #1: What are you talking about? I hate so many people!
Teenage girl #2: No you don’t!
Teenage girl #1: Yes I do!
Teenage girl #2: I always talk about how much I hate Tom and you–
Teenage girl #1: Oh, I don’t hate people I know. I only hate celebrities. –Williamsburg

Go Granddaddy!

admin — Tue, 21 May 2013 06:13:55 +0000

Black man: “And he kept on beating up niggers until he was 37!” – On the Subway