Overheard In New York http://www.overheardinnewyork.com Wed, 22 Feb 2017 14:35:19 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5.6 Wednesday One-liners Might Have Food Issues http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/001818.html Wed, 22 Feb 2017 14:35:19 +0000 Guy: Nah, I’m trying to get that six pack for summer. I’m not going for the dashboard stomach or anything. Besides, the dashboard on my car isn’t looking too good, ya know? –Godiva, Nassau Street Overheard by: J Woman: She’s not trying anorexia, is she? She’s not in that adolescent phase yet, right? –85th & 5th Overheard by: Kaitlen Girl: Well, she should tell her doctor…and her waitress. –Fordham Overheard by: Trix Hobo: Hey, I’m really hungry. Really hungry, man. I ain’t eaten in the past coupla days. That’s why I’m losing weight. Except I’m so muscular, so I look healthy, but I’m hungry. And it’s hot outside, so I’m losing more weight. And I am muscular. –F train Queer: You know, whenever they show models in movies being obsessive about what they eat and their weight or something, it’s always presented like it’s this vain and self-indulgent thing, but, I mean, they’re models. It’s their job. It’s like for your job. You needed a Master’s Degree, right? Well, they need an eating disorder. –2 train Girl: I think he thought I was calling him fat. I wasn’t, though! I was calling him pregnant. –D train

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Just Lips and Hooves, Honey http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/008869.html Tue, 21 Feb 2017 14:27:48 +0000 10-year-old girl: Mom! My hotdog has chunks of fat in it!
Mom: What are you talking about? There ain’t no fat in a hotdog! –Avenue of the Americas Overheard by: clancy

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They Never Spoke Of This Night Again http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/016938.html Sun, 19 Feb 2017 14:25:33 +0000 Man with beer #1: I love you, beer. You satisfy me in ways my wife never could.
Man with beer #2 to other man: You satisfy me in ways my wife never could… –NJT to Penn Station Overheard by: Geologist

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Then How Come My Hair Is Sticking Up Like This?? http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021751.html Sat, 18 Feb 2017 14:20:19 +0000 Guy: Oh come on!
Girl: Don't “oh come on” me!
Guy: I'm usually good with that. –44th St & Broadway

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…If You Know What I Mean. http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021892.html Fri, 17 Feb 2017 14:15:29 +0000 NYU boy #1: Jeff Goldblum enslaved my parents.
NYU boy #2: Jeff Goldblum lay siege to my castle.
NYU girl #2: Jeff Goldblum killed my velociraptor. –3rd Ave & 11th St Overheard by: Bruce Lee

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Better Spit Out That Gum Before Walking http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/002142.html Thu, 16 Feb 2017 14:14:02 +0000 Gum-chewing chick #1: He should get life for what he did.
Gum-chewing chick #2: Life? He should be executed!
Gum-chewing chick #1: That’s what I mean! He should get life!
Gum-chewing chick #2: That’s not what “getting life” means. “Getting life” means you go to prison for the rest of your life. Don’t you know anything?
Gum-chewing chick #1: Well, I don’t read the papers or watch the news… –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Johnny Drongo

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It Can Only Hold One 7″ http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/004815.html Wed, 15 Feb 2017 14:10:36 +0000 Guy: Is that an iPod?
Girl: No, it’s a gaydar. –D train

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There’s No Wednesday One-Liners in Baseball! http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/012612.html Tue, 14 Feb 2017 14:08:19 +0000 Flustered waiter: What was I doing? What was I doing?! Oh, that’s right — crying about how my life turned out. –Rachel’s Restaurant Mets fan: Yeah, man, my family is really competitive when it comes to sports, so last weekend we all went skiing. At the end of the day, it’s really a family bonding experience, so it’s good if we laugh at each other. If we make each other cry, that’s even better! –Shea Stadium Drug dealer to crying girl: Don’t cry. Buy some weed. –Christopher St, between Bleecker & Hudson Chubby girl, excitedly: Exactly two months ago at this time, I was crying in a bathroom! –L platform, Lorimer. Overheard by: einladle Stoner: If by crying you mean ‘ice cream and ecstasy,’ then yeah. –9th & 3rd Overheard by: Ryan H

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Rat: I'll Be With You Forever, Too http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/016081.html Sat, 11 Feb 2017 13:59:25 +0000 Guy #1: Wow, did you see that rat? Where did it come from?
Guy #2: It came out of nowhere, just like my herpes. –Prince Street & 6th Ave

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Parts Of Wednesday One-Liners Are Really Quite Nice http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/018651.html Fri, 10 Feb 2017 13:57:08 +0000 Irate professional woman on cell: I raced down to Penn Station to buy a ticket to New Jersey, and now you tell me you're going to Hooters? –Penn Station Overheard by: Erin and Willa Blonde hipster: I knew I needed to get out of there when I heard her saying, "we should go to that bar next because it's near the PATH!" –Rivington & Essex Train conductor: The next stop is Park Place. Transfer is available to the a, c, e and PATH to Newwwwwwwwwww Jersey. I also have wonderful news that I am dying to tell you today. All 2 and 3 trains are making local stops this weekend. There are no express trains because of service changes. –2 Train Girl, interrupting singing couple: Guys, we need to class it up, we are not in Jersey anymore! –5th Ave & 86th Overheard by: GerMan in NY Four-year-old boy: I don't wanna go to New Jersey! –New Jersey Transit Terminal, Penn Station Hipster: But you were in New Jersey when you got pregnant, it's okay. –1st & St. Mark's

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