Overheard In New York http://www.overheardinnewyork.com Fri, 09 Dec 2016 10:05:07 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5.4 U.S. Judges Should Really Start Wearing Wigs http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/023409.html Fri, 09 Dec 2016 10:05:07 +0000 Little boy, looking at bus ad: Mommy, who is he?
Mother: That's Judge Judy. –16th St & 1st Ave Overheard by: Joe Masilotti

He Didn’t See That Jen Looks Like She Has Down’s http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/002495.html Thu, 08 Dec 2016 09:59:43 +0000 Teen girl #1: Oh my gosh, Brad Pitt is such an idiot.
Teen girl #2: I know, he never should’ve left Jen.
Teen girl #1: No, I mean, can’t he see that the baby is clearly not his? –Penn Station newsstand

Wednesday One-liners’ Bun in the Oven http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/003349.html Wed, 07 Dec 2016 09:51:09 +0000 Guy: Of all the girls I am sleeping with or have dated, she is the one I would be least upset about if I got her pregnant. –Brooklyn Heights

How He Convinced Her that Semen Is Brain Food http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/007995.html Tue, 06 Dec 2016 09:50:08 +0000 Man: I’ll give you 10 bucks if you can tell me what baseball team is popular in Philly.
Woman: Duh, it’s the Red Sox! …What? Boston is in Philly.
Man: Sweetie, Boston isn’t in Philly.
Woman: Don’t lie to me, you know how easy I fall for things!
Man: But Boston is in Massachusetts.
Woman: That’s what I said! –E 23rd St & Lex Overheard by: Lisa

How Many Hipsters Does It Take…? http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/025569.html Mon, 05 Dec 2016 09:46:53 +0000 Hipster speeding by on bike #1: If we get into any trouble, just let me do the talking.
Hipster speeding by on bike #2: I didn't know you spoke polish. –Greenpoint

She’s Been Known to Eat Deodorant Cakes Out of Urinals http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/013190.html Sun, 04 Dec 2016 09:40:55 +0000 Cashier #1: … And then she told me she got high on ecstasy by accident last night.
Cashier #2: By accident?
Cashier #1: Yeah. She was at his house and saw a little white thing on the coffee table, and that bitch thought it was a mint. –Todaro Bros. Grocery, 2nd Ave Overheard by: A

We Can Only Dream They're Talking About Victoria Beckham. http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/023324.html Sat, 03 Dec 2016 09:34:42 +0000 Club boy #1: So you must tell me: how was posh last night?
Club boy #2: Oh, I don't know. I'm not really sure what happened, but at some point someone, um, bit my nipple and ever since, it just, um, hasn't been the same. –53rd & 9th Overheard by: Andrew L

You Can Take the Girl Out Of the Island… http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019225.html Fri, 02 Dec 2016 09:33:01 +0000 Guy: So what was our plan again? Have a drink and then go for a drive?
Girl: It'll be just like we're living in Long Island again! –26th & 8th

Swedish Fishiness http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/016063.html Thu, 01 Dec 2016 09:28:05 +0000 Guy behind line of girls into the women's bathroom: Whoa!
Girl: Hey! You can't come in here!
Guy: It's okay, I'm Swedish–I'm practically gay. –Madison Square Garden

Wednesdandrogynous One-Liners http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/023689.html Wed, 30 Nov 2016 09:22:46 +0000 Female customer: Is there a lock on the men's bathroom? Can I use it? No? Why? –Best Buy, Union Square Street vendor: That's a huh-morphradite. That's not the same thing we talkin' about. –Court St & Livingston St Overheard by: Jon A. Man to construction worker, waving people across street: That's women's work! –12th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: David Chick: But he was only a c-cup… –Marseille, Hell's Kitchen Overheard by: Ladle Tiny 14-year-old girl: I need a penis, yo! –Bard High School, Queens Overheard by: Sunny