Overheard In New York http://www.overheardinnewyork.com Wed, 24 May 2017 19:04:33 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5.9 Friends Episodes Often Break Out in Park Slope http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/018169.html Wed, 24 May 2017 19:04:33 +0000 Guy: I love you, you know that?
Girlfriend: Fuck you. I know you fucked my sister. It's over.
Guy: But I love you!
(girl slaps him and walks away)
Guy, to barista: I probably deserved that.
Barista: Fuck you. –Gorilla Coffee, Park Slope

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He Knows the Stroke is Imminent http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/001830.html Tue, 23 May 2017 18:58:48 +0000 Chick: Do you want this seat?
Old man: I may be 100 years old, but I’m only going one stop! –6 train

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Puts the ‘Narc’ in Narcissism http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/009132.html Mon, 22 May 2017 18:55:51 +0000 Girl looking in mirror: You know what? I would make a really good-looking crack whore.
Boy: What? … Probably. –Weinstein Residence Hall, NYU Overheard by: Emily Headline by: Ethan Runners-Up: · “All he heard was “whore”” – Marigumi · “Holding the mirror between her legs” – anne nahm · “I’ll agree with whatever gets me laid” – Dustin · “Lose a few teef, add a few bruises, I be shinin'” – Dingolite · “This Is Your Brain on Uggs” – NK
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

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When Stereotypes Come to Life http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/000455.html Sun, 21 May 2017 18:50:17 +0000 Hasidic Jew: How much is this detergent?
Cashier: $2.99.
Hasidic Jew: Never mind. I’ll put it back. –Rite-Aid, Bensonhurst

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Looks Like a Job for the Wednesday One-Liner Whisperer http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/007086.html Sat, 20 May 2017 18:45:21 +0000 Urban Tarzan: I grew up in a house of monkeys. My mother was a monkey, my father was a monkey, my brother was a pig. –Main St, Roosevelt Island Overheard by: king volcano Customer on cell: Well, the kids finally found Grandma’s python. –Dollar Store, Fulton St Overheard by: fiat lux Genius: I really can’t stand cats. They’re just furry rats. –Washington Square Park Woman: I feel so guilty when the cat catches me masturbating. –B&J Fabrics, 7th Ave Overheard by: Shamrock Young man on cell: Wait. Are you talking about what’s normal for penguins or what’s normal for four-year-olds? –Elevator, Bellevue Hospital Overheard by: patient White teen: Turkeys are mad strong, you know that? –Bleecker between Lafayette & Broadway Overheard by: Jon A. Middle-aged woman on cell: I have to get home to cook spaghetti for my cat. –3rd Ave, between 53rd & 54th

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Keep Walking 'til You Reach the Water. Then Keep Walking. http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021546.html Fri, 19 May 2017 18:44:28 +0000 Dumb tourist: Excuse me, am I heading toward the Empire State Building?
New Yorker: No, you're in Brooklyn!
Dumb tourist: So… Does that mean I'm really far off? –Park Slope

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They Can't Even Drive You Anywhere! http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/018713.html Thu, 18 May 2017 18:42:49 +0000 Crying screaming Indian girl: I am so sick of this! I do so much for you, you mean everything to me and I am so sick of this! I was there for you! Nothing mattered to you!
Asian ex-boyfriend: Ummm…
Indian girl: And I am so tired of you choosing them over me. Always choosing the Asian girls over me! It never matters, because you always choose the Asians! –NYU Silver Center

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Let’s Keep Carving Designs into Our Arms and Pretend This Conversation Never Happened http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/013140.html Wed, 17 May 2017 18:41:16 +0000 Art student guy: Yeah, you’re pretty lucky that you’ve never seen me not high.
Art student chick: Why is that?
Art student guy: It’s weird — I get all inspired to live and shit.
Art student chick: Ew. –School of Visual Arts Overheard by: dobby

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Her Style Was More That of a Gelfling, Anyway http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/001919.html Tue, 16 May 2017 18:36:16 +0000 Queer #1: That was a guest conductor, right? The short one.
Queer #2: You mean the hobbit?
Queer #1: Oh, I didn’t look at her feet.
Queer #2: Honey, it was a metaphor. –NY City Ballet, Lincoln Center

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I’m Putting 10300 Staten Island. Thank You! http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/011865.html Mon, 15 May 2017 18:31:22 +0000 Box office attendant: Sir, can I have your zip code, please?
Ticket-buyer: No! You people are not going to call me! –Beacon Theater

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