Overheard In New York 2017-07-21T08:36:46Z http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/feed/atom/ WordPress admin <![CDATA[Straight Guys Generally Regret Pursuing This Line of Questioning]]> 2017-07-21T08:36:46Z 2017-07-21T08:36:46Z Queer: Wow, he’s cute.
Straight guy: Yeah… So, do you want to fuck him?
Queer: No, I want him to fuck me. –Central Park

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admin <![CDATA[We Prefer the Blue Wall of Silence]]> 2017-07-19T08:24:06Z 2017-07-19T08:24:06Z Drunk guy #1: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Drunk guy #2: You're a cop, you fucking bastard?
Drunk guy #1: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Drunk guy #2: You're a fucking cop?!
Drunk guy #1: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Drunk guy #3: I'm a cop you idiot! It's not a tumor! –3rd Ave & 92nd St, Brooklyn Overheard by: Mallory

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admin <![CDATA[Um, Didn't He Once Throw a Phone at His Assistant?]]> 2017-07-18T08:21:16Z 2017-07-18T08:21:16Z 20-something girl, holding SpongeBob Square Pants playing cards: Look at the cards I'm getting!
Friend, shrieking and shaking: But I hate SpongeBob!
Woman, walking by: Why? He's nice. –Duane Reade Overheard by: Anna

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admin <![CDATA[When Amy Doesn’t Understand Something, She Faints]]> 2017-07-17T08:15:04Z 2017-07-17T08:15:04Z Columbia professor [having just explained a relatively simple concept, turning to girl in front]: Do you understand this?
Girl: Yes.
Professor: Good. Because, you know, you’re really the canary in the coal mine for this class. If I can get you to get this, I’m set. –Columbia University Overheard by: Bobby

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admin <![CDATA[That's Ten Seconds I'll Never Get Back]]> 2017-07-16T08:11:30Z 2017-07-16T08:11:30Z Woman to cab driver who just stopped: Oh, we're not looking for a taxi.
Cab driver: Fuck you, you fucking bitch! (drives away) –Broadway & Grand St. Overheard by: aaaa

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admin <![CDATA[Nobody Voted For Lex, Though]]> 2017-07-15T08:07:58Z 2017-07-15T08:07:58Z In Superman Returns, Lex Luthor is explaining his plans for attaining huge amounts of land, power, and wealth at the expense of billions of people’s lives. Man, shouting: George Bush! –Magic Johnson/AMC Theater, 124th St. Overheard by: S

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admin <![CDATA[Or Thinking Too Hard]]> 2017-07-14T08:03:40Z 2017-07-14T08:03:40Z Beautician #1: Do you smell burning hair?
Beautician #2: Maybe we’re walking too fast. –3rd & MacDougall, the Village

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admin <![CDATA[Wednesday One-Liners Strike Hard and Fade Away Without a Trace]]> 2017-07-13T08:02:54Z 2017-07-13T08:02:54Z Undergrad: Ninjas, see. You can’t creep up on them. You can’t creep up on them because actually they’re creeping up on you. And the person you’re creeping up on is actually a mendicant. –Fordham University, Lincoln Center Overheard by: pumpkin Teen girl to friend: No one knows about Staten Island. It’s like the ninja island. –Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island Overheard by: Green Star Young lady suit on cell: Want to know what I learned today? Okay, you know how I really hate those rolling briefcases because they fucking ninja you while you’re walking? Well, today I learned that it’s really hard to be angry about a rolling briefcase when it’s being pulled by a genuine midget. It’s like watching a pony pull a cart. It’s adorable! –Penn Station Overheard by: she wasn’t too tall herself… Geeky girl: They should really make a video game about a ninja doing the dishes. That shit would be dope. –Flatiron District

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admin <![CDATA[And Then He Gave Us Candy]]> 2017-07-12T08:01:04Z 2017-07-12T08:01:04Z Kid #1, bouncing basketball on the sidewalk: Jesus was like: “Go back to earth and suffer… Or your ass is going to hell.”
Kid #2: Yeah… –Bushwick Ave & Meserole St, East Williamsburg

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admin <![CDATA[Hey, Laura Married Urkel at the End Of That Series]]> 2017-07-11T07:56:11Z 2017-07-11T07:56:11Z 30-something wasp: So she's out of his league and he still treats her bad?
Identical 30-something wasp: I know! If Urkel is gonna date Angelina Jolie, Urkel better fucking step it up! –50th & 9th Overheard by: Wes

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