Overheard In New York 2017-04-29T17:41:40Z http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/feed/atom/ WordPress admin <![CDATA[Start the Clock, Wednesday One-liners]]> 2017-04-29T17:41:40Z 2017-04-29T17:41:40Z Suit: You know, at 2:30 in the morning, I become, like, a zombie of love. –G train Chick: There’s this guy who lives in that clock over there. They showed his apartment on TV. It’s like a prehistoric landmark. –F train Overheard by: mh Chick on cell: Yeah, I’m a ten-minutes-early girl and you’re a ten-minutes-late girl, and together that makes us twenty minutes late. –Houston & Eldridge Overheard by: Shane Yuppie lady: Let’s see your tits!…Hey, we’ve got time. Take off your top. –Bryant Park Guy on cell: You can’t fist someone for that long. They turn into a handpuppet after 5 minutes. –47th & 5th

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admin <![CDATA[Hey, the Government Will Fine You for Hundreds and Then Waste Billions]]> 2017-04-28T17:38:07Z 2017-04-28T17:38:07Z Suit to others: So here we are, being told to break every business ethics rule in the world on a daily basis, and we get reprimanded for… Guess what for?
Woman in pantsuit: Not turning in expense receipts on time?
Suit: Yeah, exactly. –Outside Penn Station Overheard by: Would love to see this crew on 20/20

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admin <![CDATA[She’s in British Columbia Denial]]> 2017-04-27T17:33:35Z 2017-04-27T17:33:35Z Girl #1: My brother drives between Alaska and Colorado once a year. It’s a really long drive.
Girl #2: Wait… I thought Alaska wasn’t connected to America.
Guy: It’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: So, there’s like, a bridge?
Guy: No. It’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: No, it’s not! It’s an island. Canada breaks up over there.
Guy: I swear to god, it’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: No! –Coffee shop, Mercer & 3rd

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admin <![CDATA[Why We Avoid Staten Island: Encapsulated.]]> 2017-04-26T17:33:15Z 2017-04-26T17:33:15Z Maternal woman to 14-year-old girl: My, aren't you looking sexy!
Random creepy guy: She ain't wrong! –Bayview Place, Staten Island Overheard by: now I want a mental shower

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admin <![CDATA[Sober Tool Academy Is a Lot Less Fun Than Its Predecessor]]> 2017-04-25T17:31:11Z 2017-04-25T17:31:11Z Chick #1: That was kinda fun last night.
Chick #2: What, being a sober tool?
(pause)
Chick #1: Yeah. –Metro North

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admin <![CDATA[You Want to Run Into Joey from Blossom?]]> 2017-04-24T17:27:15Z 2017-04-24T17:27:15Z Girl: So, what do you want to do?
Tourist guy: I want to meet a famous person!
Guy: I’m sure we can get some tickets to MTV or something.
Tourist guy: No, I wanna see them on the street and be like “Hey. You!” and have them turn around and be like “*gasp* Woah” and I’d be like “Woah”. –1 Train Overheard by: teehee

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admin <![CDATA[Oh No She Didn’t]]> 2017-04-23T17:21:19Z 2017-04-23T17:21:19Z Guy #1: Is that the last Harry Potter?
Girl with book: No, there’s one more after this.
Guy #1: What? How old is he? Isn’t he getting a little old to be in school?
Guy #2: He’s special, that’s why he goes to magic school.
Girl with book: Yeah, Harry rides the short train to school. –Newark airport Overheard by: Jujubee

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admin <![CDATA[It’s Getting Harder and Harder for Hamas to Compete]]> 2017-04-22T17:19:25Z 2017-04-22T17:19:25Z Woman #1: Didn’t she send her children to Israel?
Woman #2: No, that was Germany. It was free, one of those “Sorry we killed your family, come back and see us sometime” things. –Sunnyside, SI

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admin <![CDATA[Perhaps These Breasts Will Answer Your Question]]> 2017-04-21T17:16:07Z 2017-04-21T17:16:07Z Guy to guy friend: Did you see the Giants game last night?
Girl, interrupting: I did! I am the biggest Giants fan ever! Like, seriously.
Guy: You're wearing a Jets jersey.
Girl: Ohh, I thought it was Giants, you know, the colors sometimes get confusing.
Guy: How do you confuse red and blue with green and white?
Girl: Uhhh… –F Train

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admin <![CDATA[Why Fingerless Gloves Were Invented]]> 2017-04-20T17:13:42Z 2017-04-20T17:13:42Z Yuppie wife to husband: I bet I know what those stains are on your gloves…
Husband: I highly doubt I was fingering you with these gloves on. –Whole Foods Escalator, Time Warner Center Overheard by: A-Robb

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