New York Has Many Visitors from Intersecting Alternate Realities

Girl #1: I don't get it, but like... Are there two suns?
Girl #2: Pardon?
Girl #1: I dunno. But the sun here is so much hotter than where I'm from.
Girl #2: Oh my god. Shhh!

--5th Ave & 22nd St

Overheard by: Sunny


Posted 2010-02-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Where Did the Money Go? Discuss.

Blonde: Look, that guy in the gray sweater is the only one working here.
Brunette: I know! It's terrible.
Blonde: I wish the government would come by and look at this, and see all these people waiting. We should call them.
Brunette: Do you think they care?
Blonde: No.

--Social Security Office, 2nd Ave


Posted 2010-02-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

My Boyfriend Makes That Mistake in Bed All the Time.

NYU girl #1, failing to light her "cigarette": What the fuck!?
NYU girl #2: Honey, that's your flash drive.

--Outside of Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee


Posted 2010-02-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Changing Price Of Orange Juice? Really?

Old lech #1: It's always interesting! It's always interesting!
Old lech #2: It's never dull! It's never dull!

--1 Train

Overheard by: Harriet Vane


Posted 2010-02-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Isn't That What Divorce Court Is?

Blazed girl #1: So what I'm saying is: 50% of American marriages end in divorce and the other 50% end in death.
Blazed girl #2: There's no other way for them to end?
Blazed girl #3: Oh, I forgot: 1% of American marriages end in sending your husband to the moon.
Blazed girl #2: No seriously, there must be some other way.
Blazed girl #3: Oh, yes: 2% of American marriages end in feeding your husband to a whale. He's still alive, but he's inside a whale, so you're not married.
Blazed girl #2: But what about if you go to a foreign country and you're still married to your husband but you, like, marry all the other guys you want?
Blazed girl #4: Well, you're still married. Also, there's no country where that's legal. So, no.
Blazed girl #3: Oh, I forgot: 1.5% of American marriages end in putting your husband in a glass box, like in a cage. And watching him do tricks.

--86 Bus

Overheard by: I like Blazed Girl #3


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Not About C through F, Though.

Concerned man to friend: So, wait, does girl A know about girl B?
Friend, nonchalantly: Yeah.

--Fordham & Crotona


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I'll Take "Great 21st Century Lies" for $200, Alex

Girl: I'm not going to pretend that things are fine when they are not. You don't have feelings for me.
Guy: Don't say I don't have feelings. I have feelings for you, they are just in a different category.

--59th St & Lexington


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Try Me Next Week When My Manic Cycle Kicks in

Greenpeace guy: Hey, sign this petition!
Girl in black: No, thanks.
Greenpeace guy: It's to save the Earth!
Girl in black: Fuck the Earth.
Greenpeace guy: But what about the children?
Girl in black: Fuck the children.

--7th Ave & 25th

Overheard by: NSC


Posted 2010-02-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

New Yorkers Are Notorious for Bungee Compliments

Woman: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!
Man: I take it back.

--26th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Rose Fox


Posted 2010-02-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Nobody Molests Me Disrespectfully

Drunk girl to group of friends: And then he slapped my ass, and I was like, "I need to walk away."
Drunk girl's friend: Why?
Drunk girl: I mean, it was fine for him to play with the fuzzy things on my nipples, but I draw the line at an ass grab.

--E 9th St & Ave A

Overheard by: sternie


Posted 2010-02-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ouch, That Irony Smarts.

Guido #1, in thick Staten Island accent: Yo, yo bro, I found this thing on Word, it makes you sound smarter.
Guido #2 in same accent: No way, bro! What is it?
Guido #1: I don't know, it's this thing, you click it and it gives you all these words that make you sound smarter.
Guido #2: What's it called?
Guido #1: Sin... Sinono... Sino-somethin, but I swear to god, bro; it makes you sound smarter.

--St John's University, Staten Island

Overheard by: Not from Staten Island


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Readers, Who Would Win in This Fight? Weigh In!

Female suit to thug trying to push through to the front: You know, there's really nowhere for you to fit in here.
Thug: Don't mess with me, I'm from The Bronx.
Female suit: Don't mess with me. I'm from Jersey.

--1 Train


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