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The Day Mombolu Changed Professions
Talkative hobo, seeing woman holding papers about Africa: What's up in Africa? You don't look African.
Dignified woman: I used to work in Angola.
Talkative hobo: That's the best kind of job to have, where they pay to send you all over the world. Damn, I bet it costs $2000 to fly to Angola if you were paying for it out of your own pocket.
Dignified woman: Actually, it costs more than that. It's about $4000 to fly to Angola and back from here.
Talkative hobo: Holy shit! $4000 to fly to Angola and back? Do you know how much weed I could buy for $4000? I could sit my ass in the park all day and smoke myself to death! Damn!
--1 Train
It's Her Parents' Fault for Naming Her "Switzerland"
Little girl #1: Don't push me! You shouldn't push! It's rude!
Little girl #2: I did not push you!
Little girl #3: I'm the third party! I didn't do anything!
--Herald Square
Overheard by: The 4th party
Well Played, Little Man. Well Played.
Little boy: Where's my hat? I need my hat!
Mom: Where's some manners? You need some manners.
Little boy: Actually, they're in my hat.
--Brooklyn
Not As Much As Tom Cruise, Though.
Angry woman to frantically dancing little boy: Stop that! Stop it! Have you lost your damn mind?
Little boy, still dancing: Yeah... a little!
--6th Ave & 18th St
And by "Make" I Mean "Get at Taco Bell"
Girl on cell drinking frozen lemonade: No, mom. The frozen lemonade is not going to be my dinner. I'm going to go home and make myself something healthy. Love you! (hangs up)
Friend: Is that gonna be your dinner?
Girl: No! I'm gonna go home and make...
Friend: I love how honest you are with your parents.
Girl, interrupting: Some motherfuckin' nachos.
--86th & 5th
...And He's Great at Super Mario Bros.
Should-be-blonde girl: So this guy was 100% Italian.
Guy: You mean he was born there?
Should-be-blonde girl: No, but he's been there before.
--Luigi's Pizza Parlor
Not to Knight Rider's KITT
Little girl, as car alarm goes off when she passes by: What was that?
Older sister: Oh, don't worry, it was probably me.
Little girl: Psh! You're not that hot!
--26th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lara
As Is Boston Itself
Hipster #1: Oh look, a Boston Terrier!
Hipster #2: Boston Terriers are so last year...
--Bedford, Williamsburg
To Be Fair, What NYC Grade Schooler Needs to Know Accurate Barnyard Noises?
Latino grade school girl #1: Yeah man, and then they act like they don't know when we be hating, cause they gotta act like that, and then they say we be racist and we ain't racist, you're just a dumb white bitch.
Latino grade school girl #2: Yeah, and then they say we racist.
Latino grade school girl #1: She just don't wanna say nothing to me die-reckt-ly cause she knows she'll get hurt.
Latino grade school girl #2: Say it to my face!
Latino grade school girl #1: Yeah, that's what I say, say it to my face! She just chicken.
Latino grade school girl #2: Yeah, she just chicken.
Latino grade school girl #1: Ha ha! Chicken head!
Latino grade school girl #2: Haha, yeaaaaaah girl, chicken head! Quack quack!
--Old Navy Dressing Room, 6th Ave
Overheard by: NoChildLeftBehindDoesntWork
Every Episode Of The Simple Life, in a Nutshell
Rich high-school girl #1: We should totally do this more often, like go to Philadelphia for the day.
Rich high-school girl #2: Totally! Where is Philadelphia, anyway? Is it next to Pennsylvania?
Rich high-school girl #1: Yeah, I think so...
Rich high-school girl #2: So then, where's Alabama?
--Megabus
Overheard by: appalled
Doesn't Take Long to Say Everything That Needs Saying
Bro #1: It's a nice night out tonight.
Bro #2: Yeah.
Bro #1: I'm sorry your fiance died.
Bro #2: Thanks, dude.
--Bowery
Overheard by: Little Mac Monster Attack
I Smoke Too Much Kraków
Girl #1: My friends all say I should hook up with him because then I can say that I hooked up with someone from Poland.
Girl #2: You mean Portland?
Girl #1: Oh, right, I always get those two mixed up!
--46th & 7th
