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New York Has Many Visitors from Intersecting Alternate Realities
Girl #1: I don't get it, but like... Are there two suns?
Girl #2: Pardon?
Girl #1: I dunno. But the sun here is so much hotter than where I'm from.
Girl #2: Oh my god. Shhh!
--5th Ave & 22nd St
Overheard by: Sunny
Where Did the Money Go? Discuss.
Blonde: Look, that guy in the gray sweater is the only one working here.
Brunette: I know! It's terrible.
Blonde: I wish the government would come by and look at this, and see all these people waiting. We should call them.
Brunette: Do you think they care?
Blonde: No.
--Social Security Office, 2nd Ave
My Boyfriend Makes That Mistake in Bed All the Time.
NYU girl #1, failing to light her "cigarette": What the fuck!?
NYU girl #2: Honey, that's your flash drive.
--Outside of Tisch School of the Arts
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
The Changing Price Of Orange Juice? Really?
Old lech #1: It's always interesting! It's always interesting!
Old lech #2: It's never dull! It's never dull!
--1 Train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Isn't That What Divorce Court Is?
Blazed girl #1: So what I'm saying is: 50% of American marriages end in divorce and the other 50% end in death.
Blazed girl #2: There's no other way for them to end?
Blazed girl #3: Oh, I forgot: 1% of American marriages end in sending your husband to the moon.
Blazed girl #2: No seriously, there must be some other way.
Blazed girl #3: Oh, yes: 2% of American marriages end in feeding your husband to a whale. He's still alive, but he's inside a whale, so you're not married.
Blazed girl #2: But what about if you go to a foreign country and you're still married to your husband but you, like, marry all the other guys you want?
Blazed girl #4: Well, you're still married. Also, there's no country where that's legal. So, no.
Blazed girl #3: Oh, I forgot: 1.5% of American marriages end in putting your husband in a glass box, like in a cage. And watching him do tricks.
--86 Bus
Overheard by: I like Blazed Girl #3
Not About C through F, Though.
Concerned man to friend: So, wait, does girl A know about girl B?
Friend, nonchalantly: Yeah.
--Fordham & Crotona
I'll Take "Great 21st Century Lies" for $200, Alex
Girl: I'm not going to pretend that things are fine when they are not. You don't have feelings for me.
Guy: Don't say I don't have feelings. I have feelings for you, they are just in a different category.
--59th St & Lexington
Try Me Next Week When My Manic Cycle Kicks in
Greenpeace guy: Hey, sign this petition!
Girl in black: No, thanks.
Greenpeace guy: It's to save the Earth!
Girl in black: Fuck the Earth.
Greenpeace guy: But what about the children?
Girl in black: Fuck the children.
--7th Ave & 25th
Overheard by: NSC
New Yorkers Are Notorious for Bungee Compliments
Woman: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!
Man: I take it back.
--26th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Nobody Molests Me Disrespectfully
Drunk girl to group of friends: And then he slapped my ass, and I was like, "I need to walk away."
Drunk girl's friend: Why?
Drunk girl: I mean, it was fine for him to play with the fuzzy things on my nipples, but I draw the line at an ass grab.
--E 9th St & Ave A
Overheard by: sternie
Ouch, That Irony Smarts.
Guido #1, in thick Staten Island accent: Yo, yo bro, I found this thing on Word, it makes you sound smarter.
Guido #2 in same accent: No way, bro! What is it?
Guido #1: I don't know, it's this thing, you click it and it gives you all these words that make you sound smarter.
Guido #2: What's it called?
Guido #1: Sin... Sinono... Sino-somethin, but I swear to god, bro; it makes you sound smarter.
--St John's University, Staten Island
Overheard by: Not from Staten Island
Readers, Who Would Win in This Fight? Weigh In!
Female suit to thug trying to push through to the front: You know, there's really nowhere for you to fit in here.
Thug: Don't mess with me, I'm from The Bronx.
Female suit: Don't mess with me. I'm from Jersey.
--1 Train
