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Doesn't Take Long to Say Everything That Needs Saying
Bro #1: It's a nice night out tonight.
Bro #2: Yeah.
Bro #1: I'm sorry your fiance died.
Bro #2: Thanks, dude.
--Bowery
Overheard by: Little Mac Monster Attack
I Smoke Too Much Kraków
Girl #1: My friends all say I should hook up with him because then I can say that I hooked up with someone from Poland.
Girl #2: You mean Portland?
Girl #1: Oh, right, I always get those two mixed up!
--46th & 7th
So It's Not All About Getting Tail?
Dressing room attendant #1: So, you gonna sleep with him?
Dressing room attendant #2: Naw, I ain't gonna sleep with him! I ain't that easy, I ain't no fish!
--The Gap
Overheard by: Sunny
Can Civil Engineering Correct This Lack Of Civility? Discuss.
(nurse with elderly lady on wheelchair comes against Asian American pregnant woman with baby in stroller)
Nurse: Oh my, I'm sorry! (pulls back to let woman and child pass)
Asian American pregnant woman: Oh, I'm sorry, I can...
Senile old lady: Get out of the way, chink!
(infant cries)
Asian American pregnant woman: Excuse me?
Nurse: Oh my god! I'm so sorry.
Senile old lady: Don't apologize!
(nurse backs up and lets mother and child through)
--Washington Square Village
Overheard by: zgoldberg
A Crime Against Humanity.
Mom: So Good Luck Chuck kind of sucked, huh?
Teenage daughter: Well, what did they expect? It's Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, for crying out loud! That's bad luck!
--Tomoe Sushi
Overheard by: Sromeo
Given Your G-Rated Childhood
4-year-old boy to father waiting in line to buy ice cream cone: I used to like chocolate, but not so much anymore. (pauses to consider) Now I think it's disgusting.
Father, shocked: That's pretty strong language!
--Bittersweet Cafe, DeKalb Ave
Overheard by: Hilariter
Men's Conversation Only Fills the Empty Hours Until the Next Blowjob
Girl to loser boyfriend: You wonder why we have all these problems? It's like, no matter what I say, everything goes in one ear and out the other with you.
Loser boyfriend: Nah babe, I listen to everything you say.
Girl: No, you don't--it's like I'm speaking another language...
Loser boyfriend: What do you mean "another language"?
Girl, getting upset: Nothing fuckin registers in that head of yours. We have all this shit to deal with because you don't know what the fuck I say. You say you listen but you just don't register nothing. Like I'm speaking another language or some shit!
Loser boyfriend, looking at another girl: So... what are you sayin'?
--South Ferry
Maybe God Will Heal You?
Bible flier girl: Would you like a pamphlet to read about the good news of god?
Blind guy with walking stick: It's in Braille?
Bible flier girl: Oh, umm, no it's not.
Blind guy: You've got to be kidding.
--32nd & 7th
Overheard by: The WC
Not As Much As Tom Cruise, Though.
Angry woman to frantically dancing little boy: Stop that! Stop it! Have you lost your damn mind?
Little boy, still dancing: Yeah... a little!
--6th Ave & 18th St
Or, Wait-- Isn't That a Sex Thing??
Hippie: Jung would say I have a very low sensate rating.
Meathead: What? So you're retarded?
--Greenpoint, Brooklyn
...In the Shape Of Three 6's.
Creepy drunk guy: I'm going to go to the bathroom and then I'm going to come back and hit on you some more.
Girl to friend: I fucking hope not, I think that guy has an open wound on his arm.
--W 12th
I Spit on Your G-Rated Performance!
Street performers to people leaving: Hey, we didn't leave when you got here!
Random passerby: I threatened them with sex!
--Washington Square
Overheard by: RAR!
