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But Why Would Bush Need More Money?
Girl #1: It's like, I'd rather he got hit by a drunk driver than shot by an idiot!
Girl #2: That's true...
Girl #3 (coming out of stall): Plus, you get more money that way...
--Restroom, The Blarney Stone Bar
Overheard by: Chrissy
Don't Make Me Go All Forte on Your Ass
Snobby woman to teenage girls talking: Decrescendo, girls. Do you know what that means? It's an operatic term for "lower your voices."
Teenage girl: Actually, "decrescendo" is a musical term for "get softer," and when you say get lower, you're actually referring to pitch, not volume.
--Metropolitan Opera Lobby
Overheard by: Maria
At the Greenwich Village Explorer's Club
Girl #1: I didn't think that Newark was actually a place. I thought it was just an airport and a factory. But apparently it has, like, government-funded housing or something.
Girl #2: So, like, poor people?
Girl #1: Yeah!
--Greenwich Village
Psh, Girls--Only One Thing on Their Minds
Guy #1: How many times did I come?
Guy #2: Well, you came really fast freshman year.
Girl: Uhh...are we just going to ignore that phrasing?
--East Village
I Blame Your Mother for Playing Neil Diamond
Susie: (singing)
Father: How old are you, Susie?
Susie: Nine.
Father: No...
Susie: Okay, I'm six.
Father: Do you want to live to be seven?
Susie: Mhmm...
Father: Then shut up.
--Post Office, 112th b/w Broadway & Amersterdam
Overheard by: Kristina
New Jersey, Maybe
Drunk suit #1: My dick is so big my girlfriend sucks it everyday.
Drunk suit #2: Your girlfriend lives in Canada! Your dick isn't that big.
--Daisy's Diner, Park Slope
Overheard by: peej
Nah. Do What You Want--and Take the Consequences
Well-dressed balding father: I could honestly care less.
Shaggy haired teen: You're my father! You're supposed to care if I'm failing out of school and doing drugs!
Well-dressed balding father: Nope, not interested.
Shaggy haired teen: You have to care! I can't believe this shit!
--Bleeker & Broadway
Another Embarrassing Confusion Caused by Poor Posture
Flustered chick: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I should never have done that to you, I'm so so sorry.
Astonished friend: Did you just apologize to your vagina?
--E 6th & Ave A
Overheard by: sam
We Just Bought a Cute Place Out on the Island
Subway beggar to the people on train : Yo, my daughter just died and I don't have any money to bury her... (recognizes someone on the train) Yo!
Man on the train: Hey! How's the wife?
Subway beggar: Oh, she good, she good. She be working too! She working on the 4 line!
--1 Train
Overheard by: Faye
In Which Case I Was Looking Forward to Spraying This Mace
Annoying fundraiser guy: Scuse me, miss, if I could have a second of your time.
(cute girl stops and takes off headphones)
Annoying fund raiser guy: I work for the Children's Rights Foundation and I'm collec...
Cute girl (interrupting): Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted sex.
--23rd St & 6th Ave
Comic Books May Have Given You Some Unrealistic Expectations
Japanese student/tourist seemingly waiting for luggage: How long are you in New York for?
Woman waiting for luggage: Just for one night. I'm here for a conference and then I'm flying back tomorrow.
Japanese student/tourist: This is my fall break. I will be here through Tuesday.
Woman: That's nice. I hope you go out and have a nice time.
Japanese student/tourist: Yes. (pause) Sex.
--JFK Airport
She Actually Gave Him Cash--She Just Gets a Cheap Thrill Out of Alliteration
Hobo: Spare some change?
Girl: Yeah...so you can go buy booze? Keep dreaming, bucko.
--Times Square
