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I Prefer to Think Of What I Do As Panhandling Express
Black guy wearing North Face: Listen up, people! I'ma need some money to buy a coat, cuz it's freezin out there! This coat that I'm wearin' ain't mine, it's my friend's. So I'ma need some money to buy a coat...yo, what stop is this?
Asian kid: Times Square.
Black guy: Okay...if you want to donate, you can't. Cause I gotta go, man.
--1 Train
Nor the Laws Of Time and Space
Tourist #1, looking at subway exits: North side or south side?
Tourist #2: What's the difference?
Tourist #1: Well north is north...and south is south.
(both look from one exit to the next and look at each other)
Passing New Yorker: Are you going uptown or downtown?
Tourist #1, thinking: Hmmmm....west.
New yorker: West of 8th...but uptown or downtown? West side of what street?
Tourist #1: Hmm... West side of...23rd Street?
New Yorker, walking away: You don't know what the hell you're doing.
--23rd St
I'm Assuming by Then You'll Want to Hurt Your Partner's Feelings
NYU guy #1: Dude, when you die, can I have your Argyle?
NYU guy #2: What, you mean this?
NYU guy #1: Yeah. I mean, I just really like Argyle and I can't seem to find any good sweaters these days. So, like...could I have it?
NYU guy #2: Dude, sure!
NYU guy #1: But don't like try to die just to give it to me. I can wait a while. I think if you just put in your will something like, "and I bequeath my awesome Argyll to my friend" that should do it.
--8th St & Univerisity Place
Overheard by: Argyll Lover
Jesus Isn't Always the Answer, Y'know
NYU journalism professor: Okay, so who invented the European letter press in the 15th century?
Attentive female student in the back: Jesus!
(TA giggles)
--NYU
She Should Marry a Nice Doctor.
Old Jewish woman #1: Amy Winehouse...she sounds like a nice Jewish girl.
Old Jewish woman #2: I don't think she's going to live very long.
--Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Annex
Overheard by: Rachel
Grease!
Lady: What Broadway show is this?
Little girl: This ain't no Broadway show, it's McDonald's.
Lady, laughing: Oh. Well, it looks just like that Broadway show next door.
--McDonald's, Times Square
Overheard by: Shana
Now Hug That Hobo and Smile!
Girl with camera to group of friends: No, get in front of the train tracks so I can take a picture!
Friend: We look like such tourists.
Girl with camera: No, I swear, if I lived here, I'd take pictures all the time.
--Lower East Side
Overheard by: Benny
The Two Kinds Of New Yorkers: Encapsulated.
Thin 20-something: Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.
Heavier friend: Unless you melt some mozzarella on it!
--BBQ, The Bronx
Americans Think TV's the Answer to Everything
Pretty young woman #1: It was an accident...
Pretty young woman #2, yelling: You threw a fucking television at me, while I was crying over my dead chinchilla! I was grieving! How could you?
--Ghandi Resteraunt, 1st Ave
Overheard by: Danielle Lenore
The Prelude to the Greatest Romance Of Our Time
Gay man: You know, I have finally come to accept my sexuality.
Woman: Oh, that's good!
Gay man: I'm not even afraid to tell the world: Hey everyone! I like men!
Overhearing hobo, with a hopeful smile: Hey! Me too!
--Times Square
Overheard by: hobos are around at the strangest times
What's a White Kid Go for These Days, Anyway?
Dorky little white kid: What happens if I fall in the tracks?
Dorky white dad: I guess I'd have to buy a new kid.
Dorky little white kid: That's beastin'!
--Q Train
Overheard by: that *is* beastin'
Every Hunter Longs to Become the Hunted
Teenage girl: So I'm getting better at hooking up with guys and not getting attached! I hooked up with Jake last week, and I don't feel anything at all!
Friend: Yeah, but that's not hard. He's, like, impossible to get attached to. We need to find you a challenge. Who's really cute and cuddly?
Random old man walking in front of them: Pick me, pick me!
--Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: cute and cuddly
