Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Sounds Pretty Vanilla to Me, Bob
Entrepreneur #1: We could have ice cream hands jobs.
Entrepreneur #2: Huh?
Entrepreneur #1: Yeah, two things everybody likes.
--Bleecker Street & Broadway
Nuh-Uh!
Boy, passing smokers: Daddy, I smell cigarettes.
Dad: I know, it's smelly...
Smoker #1: Daddy, I smell obnoxious children.
Smoker #2: I know, they're smelly...
Dad, leaving: Poopie-heads.
--120th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: smoker
Be Grateful You're a Romanov With Hemophilia
Little boy, about little brother: Daddy, he says that when the blood on his knee dries, he's gonna pick it off and throw it at me! Daddy, tell him not to do that!
Dad: That scrape is fresh. We have plenty of time before we need to worry about that.
--6 Train
I'm Barred From Her Dungeon for Life
Slutty lesbian chick buying ice cream: So then she says "Scream! I'm going to keep spanking you until you scream!"
Slightly less slutty chick: So what did you do?
Slutty lesbian chick: Well, I wanted it to be hot, but when it came out it wasn't so much an "I'm getting spanked, and it's hot" scream as it was an "I'm shitty and it hurts" grunt.
--Grocery Store, The Bronx
You Have Chinese Teriyaki Chicken in Your Pants, Don't You?
Girl: I'm in the mood for chicken.
Guy: Teriyaki chicken?
Girl: No...
Guy: Chinese Teriyaki chicken?
Girl: No...
--53rd & 6th
Overheard by: Pooja
After We Were Both Sorely Disappointed That X-Men Wasn't Porn
Hipster girl #1: I like how anti-comic you are.
Hipster girl #2: I like how we discovered how anti-comic we are.
--Cake Shop
Overheard by: Kaet
I'm Matthew Now
Elated girl, seeing guy: Matt?!
Guy: No.
--14th & 6th
Makes Me Feel Closer to Tobey Maguire
Redhead: I thought it was a bee.
Brunette: It's a spider.
Redhead: Oh. I have them in my hair all the time.
--85th & 3rd
I'm Pretty Sure It Was the Mustache
20-something Midwestern actress type transplant #1: Yeah, I was told by one of my drama teachers once, way back in school, that I had the "passion and commitment to theater" that Hitler had.
(five-second pause)
20-something Midwestern actress type transplant #2: Wow!
20-something Midwestern actress type transplant #1: No, it wasn't a compliment, she didn't like me very much.
--Chinese Restaurant, Astoria
Naturally, He's Married, but Still
Woman in yellow dress: Ya'll know how all women want Tupac with a weave?
Woman's friend: Mmm-hmm.
Woman in yellow dress: Well, this was him! 'Cept he doesn't drink, doesn't cuss, and he goes to church!
--Downtown F Train
Overheard by: Nina L.
Thousands Of 'em Come in on the PATH Train Every Day
Father, holding toddler son: Alright, I'm bored. Let's go try and find some rats.
Toddler son: Oh! Rats!
--1 Train
Overheard by: John
I Kinda Regret Reading About It in Her Diary
Girl #1: My mom dated a black guy when she was younger.
Girl #2, laughing: Really!?
Girl #1: Yeah. Yo, he tore that shit up... early.
--Hunter College
Overheard by: LiDra
