Portly man: So what are you trying to tell me?
Skinny blond teen: He choked to death on a live hampster!
--Times Square
Overheard by: Not how I wanna go
Hipster #1: They thought it was the coolest thing they'd ever done.
Hipster #2: The firemen?
Hipster #1: The girls.
--Lafayette & E 4th
Overheard by: Jon A.
Crazy lady, pointing at Christmas tree: Is the tree real?
Doorman: Yes, ma'am.
Crazy lady: Can I go smell the tree?
Doorman: Yes, ma'am.
Crazy lady, going over to tree: Can ah smell yo, tree? (giggles)
--Upper West Side
Overheard by: Neck Twister
Jersey teen on class trip: I wonder if they've got Billy Joel here.
Friend: Dude, isn't he some preacher in Texas?
--Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame Annex, Mercer St
Overheard by: stillrockn'rolltome
Old tourist woman to daughter, about gangsters shouting slang to each other: Is that French?
Daughter: No... That's Ebonics.
--Broadway & Waverly
Overheard by: Noah
Long-hair hobo: All America is an insane asylum.
Hobo friends: (chuckle)
--18th St & 6th
Overheard by: Moose
Gay, complaining about relationship: I'm so tired of this...do you think love lasts forever?
Girl, obviously frustrated about being single: Fuck it, Jaimie, the real question is whether it ever starts.
--H&M, NoHo
Overheard by: Yeah I'd like to know too
Guy: Of course I thought about it before I did it!
Girl: So you're a premeditated moron.
--55th & Broadway
Overheard by: Cornbread Jim
Smoking scenester #1 to another, after seeing toy poodle: Hey, look, that must be one of them dumb city rat dogs.
Girl with poodle to smoking scenester #1: Hey, look, you must be one of those dumb bridge & tunnel cunts.
--11th & 1st
Man #1, to dog: See you later, Cody.
Man #2 (dog owner): His name is Toby.
Man #1: But I've been calling him Cody for ten years!
Man #2: I know.
--Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: M. Blair
Guy #1: He wouldn't stop telling me to eat the cactus, so I just broke down and did it.
Guy #2: Wow, what about the needles?
Guy #1: I put it in a blender first, dumbass.
Guy #2: Oh. So what happened?
Guy #1: I drank like three quarters of it and I threw up. A lot. Like "mother of god."
Guy #2: Sheesh, then what?
Guy #1: I passed out for about 9 hours.
Guy #2: Awesome.
Guy #1: Yeah.
--G Train
Black guy in suit: Gimme a hug!
Black lady: I'll give you a hug once you pay me.
--Lexington Ave & 43rd St
Overheard by: dees
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