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A Pantless, Anthropomorphized Pig: The Universal Language
Old, foreign Asian, looking through comic book collection: Want a Looney Tunes with Porky Pig on the cover!
Vendor, turning to stranger: Porky fucking Pig, man!
--Flea Market, 23rd St
...With a Variety Of Different Fruits and Vegetables.
Dude #1, looking at Yu-Gi-Oh! cards: Oh man, opening a new pack is pleasurable. Like having sex.
Dude #2: How do you know? You have sex?
Dude #1: Trust me, I know. I have sex.
--Anime Castle
Now If Only Katie Holmes Would Have That Experience
Girl #1: Dude, how amazing was Adam Lambert in concert last night?
Girl #2: Holy shit! There was a point in the show where I actually considered going on Zoloft because I have absolutely no shot with him, but then he gyrated again and threw me out of my heterosexual-girl-in-love-with-a-hot-flamboyant-gay-man funk.
--Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
And Definitely Not Enough Sex for You.
Mom, reading magazine: You heard of Twilight? Is it good?
Kid: Dunno. I don't think you'd like it. It's got kissing. And vampires.
--Barnes & Noble, Tribeca
Overheard by: Quack
No -- The Bong.
Girl #1: So I like, panicked, and I ate it.
Girl #2: You ate the weed?
--Park Slope
Overheard by: E
Esteban Has Pole Vaulted Into Our Hearts
Girl #1: Oh my god! It was so big I could feel it in my throat!
Girl #2: I know, I call it his third leg.
--JFK Airport
Only in the Star Trek Sense
Dude #1, while crossing Yankee stadium: Dude, are we in Staten Island yet?
Dude #2: Are you retarded?
--4 Train
All My Cowfriends Have It
Girl #1: It's called "foot and mouth disease," isn't that gross? I so don't want to get that!
Girl #2: Ewww! What is it?
Girl #1: I don't know, but it sounds disgusting!
--M Train
Overheard by: Dara
Luckily, They're the Only Two People Who Can Stand Each Other
20-something redhead to friend, while texting: Wait... Maryland is down, and New York is up, right? I mean map-wise.
Friend: What the fuck?
20-something redhead, no longer texting: I had so much fun tonight. Can we do this again... lately?
Friend: Uhhh, do you mean "soon"?
20-something redhead: Yeah. Soon, lately, you know what I mean.
--Windsor Court, Murray Hill
We Finished the Cashews. That's a Pen.
Woman #1: These almonds are great.
Woman #2: These are cashews. We finished all the almonds earlier.
Woman #1: These cashews are great.
--Grand Central
Would "Your Lips!!!" Be an Inappropriate Answer?
Customer: I'd like a footlong meatball sub on wheat.
Manager: What would you like on your balls, sir?
--Subway Restaurant
Overheard by: Mondoman
It's in a Bucket Labeled "KFC"
Georgia hick: We need to see if our animals are here.
Flight attendant: Um, how many do you have?
Georgia hick: One. A chicken.
--LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Dave
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