Overheard in New York | The Voice of the City

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A Fitting End for Mr. Gere

Portly man: So what are you trying to tell me?
Skinny blond teen: He choked to death on a live hampster!

--Times Square

Overheard by: Not how I wanna go

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There's a "Hoes/Hose" Pun in Here Somewhere

Hipster #1: They thought it was the coolest thing they'd ever done.
Hipster #2: The firemen?
Hipster #1: The girls.

--Lafayette & E 4th

Overheard by: Jon A.

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Eve Went on to Ruin Everything for Everyone

Crazy lady, pointing at Christmas tree: Is the tree real?
Doorman: Yes, ma'am.
Crazy lady: Can I go smell the tree?
Doorman: Yes, ma'am.
Crazy lady, going over to tree: Can ah smell yo, tree? (giggles)

--Upper West Side

Overheard by: Neck Twister

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Singing "You Catholic Girls Start Much Too Late"?

Jersey teen on class trip: I wonder if they've got Billy Joel here.
Friend: Dude, isn't he some preacher in Texas?

--Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame Annex, Mercer St

Overheard by: stillrockn'rolltome

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Note the Freedom Fros

Old tourist woman to daughter, about gangsters shouting slang to each other: Is that French?
Daughter: No... That's Ebonics.

--Broadway & Waverly

Overheard by: Noah

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Which Explains Why Jumpsuits Are Back in Fashion

Long-hair hobo: All America is an insane asylum.
Hobo friends: (chuckle)

--18th St & 6th

Overheard by: Moose

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The De Beers Commercial That Never Made It to TV

Gay, complaining about relationship: I'm so tired of this...do you think love lasts forever?
Girl, obviously frustrated about being single: Fuck it, Jaimie, the real question is whether it ever starts.

--H&M, NoHo

Overheard by: Yeah I'd like to know too

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The Side Of George W. Bush You Rarely Saw

Guy: Of course I thought about it before I did it!
Girl: So you're a premeditated moron.

--55th & Broadway

Overheard by: Cornbread Jim

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How'd You Know?!

Smoking scenester #1 to another, after seeing toy poodle: Hey, look, that must be one of them dumb city rat dogs.
Girl with poodle to smoking scenester #1: Hey, look, you must be one of those dumb bridge & tunnel cunts.

--11th & 1st

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I Thought It Was an Inside Joke Between the Two Of You

Man #1, to dog: See you later, Cody.
Man #2 (dog owner): His name is Toby.
Man #1: But I've been calling him Cody for ten years!
Man #2: I know.

--Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: M. Blair

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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Boys But Were Afraid to Ask

Guy #1: He wouldn't stop telling me to eat the cactus, so I just broke down and did it.
Guy #2: Wow, what about the needles?
Guy #1: I put it in a blender first, dumbass.
Guy #2: Oh. So what happened?
Guy #1: I drank like three quarters of it and I threw up. A lot. Like "mother of god."
Guy #2: Sheesh, then what?
Guy #1: I passed out for about 9 hours.
Guy #2: Awesome.
Guy #1: Yeah.

--G Train