Hormones: An OINY Short Story

Teenage boy #1: Dude, that mannequin was hot!
Teenage boy #2: Imagine if it had a head and limbs!

--Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Dave Rabkin


Posted 2009-11-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You're Right, but for All the Wrong Reasons

Not from New York husband: Honey, we can eat over there. (points at Tavern on the Green)
Not from New York wife: Ew! No, I am not going to eat at a tavern. That's gross.

--Central Park


Posted 2009-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And a Man I Can Pee With!

Frustrated hobo: What are you looking for?
Batty bag lady: A car!
Frustrated hobo: Well, what kind of car?
Batty bag lady: A car I can pee between!

--Eldridge & Broome

Overheard by: Nic


Posted 2009-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

New York Girls Have Always Swooned for Quasimodo's "Ironic" Sense Of Style

Hermit-looking man at bakery counter: Euhh... Yes, I want cake. One will say "Kenny's dead." No! Wait! One will say "I killed Kenny, and I'm not sorry!" And the other will say... it will say, "Obama is my homeboy!"
20-something hipster girl, staring at man: Are you... for real?
Hermit-looking man: Yes, sweetie.
20-something hipster girl: You... you win at life, sir.

--167th & Broadway


Posted 2009-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Clearly You Have No Grasp Of Bikini Wrestling Bylaws, Sir.

Guy holding baking mix: Excuse me, where's the vegetable oil?
Employee: We don't have vegetable oil, but I think canola oil should work fine with that.
Guy, sarcastically: Oh, you think canola oil would work?

--Trader Joe's, 14th St


Posted 2009-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Also How to Get Banned from Nobu.

Girlfriend: Learn anything new today?
Boyfriend: How to say "sexual offender" in Japanese!

--Central Park

Overheard by: lynn


Posted 2009-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Adult Film Industry Will Be Happy to Guide You

Cute Asian girl: I feel like I'm in high school again, except the person I'm dating is female and a really good kisser, and the guy I'm plotting to seduce is my professor. What's wrong with my life?
Friend: I think you need to either learn to live without penis, or realize that kissing men isn't scary.
Cute Asian girl: Kissing women is scary too! But I happen to really enjoy kissing Christina.
Friend: Okay, so if you want to do your professor so badly, don't you think he might be a good kisser too?
Cute Asian girl: There are so many things you can do with a guy that don't involve kissing...
Friend: Again... Get over penis or start kissing men!
Cute Asian girl: It isn't that simple!

--Uptown 2 Train


Posted 2009-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Tracy Chapman's Been Saying That Since 1988

Bag lady to white guy whistling "When the Saints Go Marching In": Damn, nigger, that's my jam!
Guy: I'm... Ummm... sorry?
Bag lady: Yeah? Fuck you too!
(guy and girl walk away)
Bag lady
: Shit, I gotta get outta this town and get my own place!


--L Train

Overheard by: The Music Man


Posted 2009-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Canadia: Dammit...!

Teenage girl #1: And she was trying to convince me that Florida is north of New York!
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, some people are so stupid! North of us is like... Delaware!

--Hudson & Gansevoort

Overheard by: Laura


Posted 2009-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Checked Her Birth Certificate

Hispanic teenage girl #1: I don't know about that girl. She just don't fit in with our group.
Hispanic teenage girl #2: Yeah, she think she ghetto fabulous, but she just ghetto.

--Brooklyn


Posted 2009-11-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Who Knew Sex With Strangers Could Be Unsatisfying?

Walk of shame girl #1: He said I was the best 20-minute decision he ever made.
Walk of shame girl #2: Oh my god, really??
Walk of shame girl #1: Yeah, more like 5 minutes.

--89th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Just Out For Coffee


Posted 2009-11-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

New Yorkers Aren't Impressed When You Put on the Dog

Woman to waiter: Oh my god! I left my mink stole here. Oh please don't let it be gone. (goes to table, finds stole) Oh, thank god I found my mink stole and no one took it!
Woman at next table: Oh, please, bitch, ain't nobody want your German Shepherd!

--The Diner Restaurant, Midtown


Posted 2009-11-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook



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