Overheard in New York
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/
The Voice of the City2008-07-06T08:00:00-05:00First a Tip... Then the Whole Shaft
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015312.html
Guy: What makes you think the guy she likes is gay? Girl: He's a bartender in a gay bar. But he says it's only because they tip better.
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Djlindee2008-07-06T08:00:00-05:00He Said It with an Ominous Voice and a Mr. Burns Finger-Touch
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015311.html
Elderly woman on stretcher: Is the ambulance heated? Handlebar-mustached ambulance driver: Yes. Elderly woman on stretcher: I'm gonna freeze to death. Handlebar-mustached ambulance driver (smiling, tenderly): No, you're gonna sweat to death.
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Djlindee2008-07-06T06:00:00-05:00Oh, Sorry--Didn't Know You Were on the Phone
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015310.html
Black dude following girl: Hey man, check out that ass! Look at that ass! That's some fine ass. Look at that ass. Black chick being followed: (into her phone) Hold on. (turns to man) Nigga, go away!
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Djlindee2008-07-06T04:00:00-05:00And That Chocolate Milk Was Hardcore
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015309.html
Guy to bartender (about friend standing next to him): I could barely get this guy to drink last night! Friend: Dude! I was driving!
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Djlindee2008-07-06T02:00:00-05:00It Was on the Guido Licensing Exam!
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015308.html
Boyfriend: It's called Taormina. Girlfriend: Tromina? Boyfriend: No, Taormina. Girlfriend: Tarmina? Boyfriend: No, tah-or-min-ah. Girlfriend: Ta-roh-min-ah? Boyfriend: How can you not say this? We're fucking Italian!
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Djlindee2008-07-06T00:00:00-05:00Then She Barks at Me and Pees on the Cardboard
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015307.html
Very drunk, seemingly homeless man with cane (to entire car): Merry Christmas, happy Hannukah, everyone! (everyone in car stares) Drunk man: I'm not homeless, I'm just very drunk. I got a woman at home who ain't got no job and I keep telling her, bitch, get outta my house and get a job!
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Djlindee2008-07-05T22:00:00-05:00The Side Of Jared Subway Doesn't Want You to See
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015306.html
Guy #1: Yo, man. I lost seven pounds. Can you believe it? Guy #2: Oh yeah? Really? Guy #1: Yeah, I got a fuckin' shoestring on my pants. Guy #2: Uh... Guy #1: I don't like this. I liked being fat.
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Djlindee2008-07-05T20:00:00-05:00When I Try That, My Throat Burns for Some Reason
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015305.html
Chick: My theology professor is sooooo in tune with everything. Dude: Well, duh, he probably drinks holy water and shit.
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Djlindee2008-07-05T18:00:00-05:00But If Anyone Asks, I Called Jenny
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015304.html
Suit #1: So I'd been working out for two hours a day, almost daily, for a few months. Suit #2: How was that? Suit #1: Well I wasn't losing any weight, so then I remembered... I'm really rich, I could just get lipo.
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Djlindee2008-07-05T16:00:00-05:00But Would You Like Some Poppers?
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015303.html
(crowded train at rush hour) Polite woman: Can you move in, please? Annoyed suit: Move in where? This guy's in me.
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Djlindee2008-07-05T14:00:00-05:00Sorry-- I Only Meant We're Too White to Get Off Here
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015302.html
Five-year-old child: Is this our stop, mommy? Mother: No sweetie, this is the ghetto. Never get off here. (two people sitting across give them dirty looks as they leave the train)
--Metro-North, Harlem
Overheard by: getting off at the 125th street stop]]>
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Djlindee2008-07-05T12:00:00-05:00What Is Something Only Straight Guys Say, Alex?
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015301.html
Guy #1: Oh my god, they have ribbed ones. Guy #2: And flavored. Shit, I got to get a flavored one. Guy #1: Awesome, flavored condoms are awesome! Guy #2: They are. They are freaking awesome! (guy #1 notices man at urinal). Guy #1: Dude, we're not gay.
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Djlindee2008-07-05T10:00:00-05:00Wrong on All Counts
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015300.html
Teacher: Who was the first African-American woman court justice? Girl: Judge Judy!
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Djlindee2008-07-05T08:00:00-05:00Mr. McCain's Co-Workers Have Grown Weary of That Line
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015299.html
Hardhat to ticket agent: Yo, what time you get out? Ticket agent: At one. Hardhat: Me too. It's great gettin' out at one. Ticket agent: Yeah, but I got class after. Hardhat: Well, better than bein' in a Chinese prison camp.
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Djlindee2008-07-05T06:00:00-05:00We Should Move to the Country. Where I Can Beat You
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015298.html
Seven-year-old boy (spelling everything he says): D-a-d-c-a-n-I-h-a-v-e-a-d-o-g? Dad: N-o-t-n-o-w. Seven-year-old boy: Shut yo' mouth!