Overheard in New York http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/ The Voice of the City Copyright 2009 Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.31 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Just Give Me a Minute to Clean Up Here Male barista: Sorry, we're closed.
20-something girl: Can I get a tea bag to go?

--Café, Washington Square Park

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Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-03
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019697.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019697.html Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0500 I'm So Proud Of Him Guy visiting mother at new office: Man...I've been in jail cells bigger than this.
Mother, to coworkers: He really means that.

--Fordham University

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019696.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019696.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:00:00 -0500 Speaking Of the Filth Of Humanity... Whiny old man: I hate the cold. I get so cold I hafta take a hot shower every night. How 'bout you?
Old woman: Well, Eddy, you're supposed to take showers all the time.
Whiny old man: How about that OJ Simpson?

--B3 Bus

Overheard by: Laura E.

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Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019695.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019695.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:00:00 -0500 Then How Can I Be a Jerk Off, Brainiac? Man #1, annoyed at being pushed: You don't have to push!
Man #2: Well, it was really crowded.
Woman: Welcome to New York!
Man #1, to woman: Your mother!
Woman: That's mature! What are you, in the 5th grade? Grow up, jerk-off!
Man #1: Suck my dick!
Woman: You don't got one, honey!

--F Train

Overheard by: Alliem

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019694.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019694.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:00:00 -0500 Fine, but My Odor's Peaking Right Now Preppy blond girl: Can you smell me? I smell so good.
Less preppy blond girl: Oh my god! Yeah! But can I smell you after class?

--Columbia University

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Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019693.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019693.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:00:00 -0500 I Still Can't Remember Where I Left the Baby Teenybopper #1: I really want some gum.
Teenybopper #2: Oh, here I have some. I bought this last night because I had some beers before babysitting, and I didn't wanna show up smelling like booze.

--Downtown 2 Train

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019692.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019692.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:00:00 -0500 Can't We Just Go to the Coma Ward and Throw Stuff at Grandma Again? Park Slope dad: Do you know how to play dodgeball?
Eight-year-old son: No...
Park Slope dad: I throw the ball at you, and you try not to get hit.
Eight-year-old son: That doesn't sound like fun.

--Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Becka Dash

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Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019691.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019691.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:00:00 -0500 A White Person Would Be Too Chicken to Make That Comment Black woman #1: Well, at least there's still that KFC.
Black woman #2: No, it's not there anymore!
Black woman #1: What? It's scary when there isn't even a KFC in a black neighborhood anymore.

--39th St & 8th Ave

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019690.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019690.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 10:00:00 -0500 Okay, Better Little boy: I farted!
Mother: Oh, Andrew, that's gross.
Grandma: Yes, say "excuse me" and then get out of here.
Little boy: Bombs away!

--Target, Queens

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019689.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019689.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 08:00:00 -0500 Unlike Every Other Disney Song Younger girl, singing: Salacado, lamenchekaboo, bippity boppity boo. Put 'em together and what have you got? Bippity boppity boo!
Older girl: That song was definitely written by an autistic crackhead.

--The Disney Store

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019688.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019688.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:00:00 -0500 I See You Share My Affliction, Brother Ticket seller: Hey guy! Wanna see a comedy show?
Teenager: Sorry, I was born without a sense of humor.
Ticket seller: Go fuck yourself!

--Times Square

Overheard by: Vinny B

Headline by: Toby

Runners-Up:
· "It Would Have Been Funnier If He Wasn't an Autistic Hermaphrodite" - Prole
· "Jimmy Fallon Turns Down Tickets to His Own Show" - walty
· "Now *That* Would Be Quite a Show..." - Green Star
· "Really? I Was Born with Tourrettes..." - Chad King


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

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Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019705.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019705.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:00:00 -0500 And Technically I Think She Outsources to the Maid Girl #1: Oh my god! I can't believe my mom only got a B+ on my history paper.
Girl #2: Well, I can't believe your mom does your schoolwork and writes your papers for you. Don't you ever feel guilty?
Girl #1: Umm...no. Since she's, like, paying for my college and stuff, then it's only fair that she gets to do the work.

--SoHo

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Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019687.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019687.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 04:00:00 -0500 They Were Feeling Their Oats When We Played 'em White hipster teen, about basketball team: So are you guys good?
White hipster friend: Yeah, dude! I mean, we win against like black schools and shit. We just beat Brooklyn Friends last week.
White hipster teen: Dude, Brooklyn Friends is not a black school! Brooklyn Friends is a Quaker school!

--60th St & Amsterdam

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Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019686.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019686.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 02:00:00 -0500 Whatever, Mr. Gender-Identity Gestapo Madison Square Garden worker: Sir... Sir! Sir, where the hell do you think you're going?
Man, with five-year-old kid: I'm gettin' in the line for the bathroom.
Madison Square Garden worker: Sir, it looks to me like you're trying to get into the ladies bathroom.
Man: But I got a kid!
Madison Square Garden worker: Did you give birth to your kid?
Man: No!
Madison Square Garden worker: Then it looks to me like you're in the wrong fuckin line.

--Madison Square Garden

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Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-02
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019685.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019685.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0500 Wednesday and the World One-Liners With You, Cry and You Cry Alone Girl, loudly and enthusiastically: Everything I say is a joke!

--City Bakery, 18th St

Girl to guy: What's so funny? Did you fart?

--W 96th & Broadway

Overheard by: Megan W.

Santa, chasing scared teen: Do you think it's funny to throw things at people's heads? How about I break your face?

--42nd St

Girl: I'm really excited that, like, within our lifetime, there are gonna be funny movies about Obama.

--Manhattan Theatre Source

Overheard by: Emily B.

Laughing girl on phone: Come on, please! Please! Just take off your clothes and take pictures! (pause) Come on, mom, it would be so funny!

--Union Square

20-something skater guy to another: And then I started whackin' off, and it was hilarious.

--Broadway & E 10th St

Overheard by: Timothy

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Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-07-01
]]> http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019684.html http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019684.html Wed, 01 Jul 2009 22:00:00 -0500