Cross Only at Wednesday One-Liners

Asian hipster to friend: A blind woman with a cane comes up to me at the crosswalk and asks if its okay to cross. I tell her yeah, the light just changed. Next crosswalk she catches up to me asks same question and I tell her no, the light is still red. She goes anyway. New York… Even the blind jaywalk! –E 14th St & 2nd Ave Young man to friend at crosswalk during a red light: Yo, jaywalk that shit! –34th St & 7th Ave 30-something man strategizing how to cross slush-puddle: Long jump! I did this in high school! –3rd Ave & 10th St Stooped old man in the crosswalk: Shouldn't be too bad… Shouldn't be too bad…(takes a step) Shouldn't be too bad… –58th & 10th

Wednesday One-liners Will Cost You

Woman: So they’re paying the kidnappers child support? I mean I know they want to support their child, but where is the money going? To those crazy people. –L train Overheard by: Kelly Marie

I Thought the Devil Wore Prada

Bag man: Nice toes.
Guy: Um…thanks?
Bag man: Well, you know, so many people be wearin’ these things and they got some nasty boar feet, but you got some nice toes there. Good for you. –Barney’s Warehouse Sale, W. 17th Street Overheard by: A. Hender

Tastes Not-So-Great, More or Less Filling

Guy #1: Dude, do you actually have a refrigerator this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, of course.
Guy #1: Good, ’cause I don’t want an infection like I got last year from putting the beers in the toilet tank
Guy #3: Man, you chilled the beers in the toilet?
Guy #1: No dude, the toilet tank! I thought I would be safe but I woke up with one swollen eye and two swollen fingers. –Bodega, 12th & B