Asian hipster to friend: A blind woman with a cane comes up to me at the crosswalk and asks if its okay to cross. I tell her yeah, the light just changed. Next crosswalk she catches up to me asks same question and I tell her no, the light is still red. She goes anyway. New York… Even the blind jaywalk! –E 14th St & 2nd Ave Young man to friend at crosswalk during a red light: Yo, jaywalk that shit! –34th St & 7th Ave 30-something man strategizing how to cross slush-puddle: Long jump! I did this in high school! –3rd Ave & 10th St Stooped old man in the crosswalk: Shouldn't be too bad… Shouldn't be too bad…(takes a step) Shouldn't be too bad… –58th & 10th
Security lady: ID!
Girl: I left mine upstairs in the library.
Security lady: You need it every time you leave the building.
Girl: But I told you I was going out. Don’t you remember?
Security lady: I don’t remember a lot of things. –Cardozo School of Law, 5th Avenue Overheard by: DGA
Store clerk #1: Our manager is a B-I-C-T-C-H.
Store clerk #2: Yeah, because our customers can’t spell or anything… –H&M, 34th St
Wife: Is Ozzy Osbourne the one with the long blonde hair?
Husband: He's not blonde! He's done drugs his whole life!
Wife: Is he black?
Husband: No, you're thinking of Gene Simmons.
Wife: Oh, of course! (pause) No, I think I was thinking of Lady Gaga. –BB King's, Times Square
Woman: So they’re paying the kidnappers child support? I mean I know they want to support their child, but where is the money going? To those crazy people. –L train Overheard by: Kelly Marie
Bag man: Nice toes.
Bag man: Well, you know, so many people be wearin’ these things and they got some nasty boar feet, but you got some nice toes there. Good for you. –Barney’s Warehouse Sale, W. 17th Street Overheard by: A. Hender
20-something JAP, checking out 20-something guy walking past: Hey, how are you?
20-something guy waves: Married…
JAP’s friend: Ew, who gets married? –21st & Van Alst Overheard by: Kire
Guy: Do you think you’d be able to take a dead fetus on a plane?
Girl: Maybe on a domestic flight. –Barnard dorm Overheard by: babs standigio
Guy on cell: I’m going to kill you, and it’s going to hurt. You know that, right?…I’m not talking shit! –Duane Reade, 44th & 5th
Guy #1: Dude, do you actually have a refrigerator this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, of course.
Guy #1: Good, ’cause I don’t want an infection like I got last year from putting the beers in the toilet tank
Guy #3: Man, you chilled the beers in the toilet?
Guy #1: No dude, the toilet tank! I thought I would be safe but I woke up with one swollen eye and two swollen fingers. –Bodega, 12th & B