Tastes Not-So-Great, More or Less Filling

Guy #1: Dude, do you actually have a refrigerator this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, of course.
Guy #1: Good, ’cause I don’t want an infection like I got last year from putting the beers in the toilet tank
Guy #3: Man, you chilled the beers in the toilet?
Guy #1: No dude, the toilet tank! I thought I would be safe but I woke up with one swollen eye and two swollen fingers. –Bodega, 12th & B

He Thinks Those Doggs All Look Alike

White man: Excuse me, has anyone ever told you you look just like that rap guy?
Black guy: You mean Snoop Dogg?
White man: Yeah, him.
Black guy: Yeah, all the time.
White man: Are you related to him?
Black guy: Yeah, he’s a distant cousin.
White man: Really? Wow! You must get this all the time.
Black guy: Yeah, even my girlfriend says it.
White man: Well, that must be the reason she dates you. She probably wouldn’t date you if you weren’t related to him. –1 train

Different Noodles, Honey

Little tourist kid, waving arms: Chinatown! Chinatown!
Tourist mom, looking at map: No, no, this is Little Italy.
Little tourist kid: Chinatown! Chinatown! –Mulberry & Kenmare