Guy on cell: I’m going to kill you, and it’s going to hurt. You know that, right?…I’m not talking shit! –Duane Reade, 44th & 5th
Guy #1: Dude, do you actually have a refrigerator this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, of course.
Guy #1: Good, ’cause I don’t want an infection like I got last year from putting the beers in the toilet tank
Guy #3: Man, you chilled the beers in the toilet?
Guy #1: No dude, the toilet tank! I thought I would be safe but I woke up with one swollen eye and two swollen fingers. –Bodega, 12th & B
Ghetto guy: Why I be so ashy?
White chick: It’s because you’re black, right? –Canal St & Centre St
White man: Excuse me, has anyone ever told you you look just like that rap guy?
Black guy: You mean Snoop Dogg?
White man: Yeah, him.
Black guy: Yeah, all the time.
White man: Are you related to him?
Black guy: Yeah, he’s a distant cousin.
White man: Really? Wow! You must get this all the time.
Black guy: Yeah, even my girlfriend says it.
White man: Well, that must be the reason she dates you. She probably wouldn’t date you if you weren’t related to him. –1 train
Old lady to young man helping her carry heavy bags: What a nice gentleman! Thank you!
Young man: I am not from here. If you go to Texas, you would not have to carry bags anymore! –Midtown Overheard by: SH
Little tourist kid, waving arms: Chinatown! Chinatown!
Tourist mom, looking at map: No, no, this is Little Italy.
Little tourist kid: Chinatown! Chinatown! –Mulberry & Kenmare
Woman on cell: Hey! Hey can you hear me? Listen, I have the extra pair of underwear from the colonoscopy and I forgot to take them out of my bag…
–12th Street & 7th Avenue
Overheard by: Caroline
Passer-by to hobo: Nice chair!
Hobo: Why, thank you, I'm a professional bum. –5th Ave & 22nd St
Little boy in stroller pats a woman on the thigh reaching for a chain hanging from her pocket. Woman: Oh, no! You don’t touch strange women! You don’t touch strange women! Otherwise they might touch you back… Oh, aren’t you a sweetheart?! [To his parents] Oh, yeah. He knows what he’s doing. –Brooklyn-bound L train
Guy, singing: “I want to be a part of it/ New York/ New York…”
Passing woman: Where the fuck are you from? –38th & 7th Overheard by: Agrees with woman