…but Yes

Kinky girl: Have you ever thought about tasting your own cum?
Other girl: Are you fucking serious? We're in Times Square right now. Twenty people probably heard that.

–Times Square

Overheard by: No thank you

Wednesday Puts Its One-Liners on One Leg at a Time

Guy on cell: In a wig, with his pants down, watching her from his car.

–33rd St, Astoria

Overheard by: Ferna

Teen to another: Barack Obama said, "pull your pants up!"

–Broadway & 72nd St

NYU girl: I wanna do it, and I wanna do it in my pants box.

–Weinstein Hall, NYU

Border's employee to man sleeping in chair: Sir, could you please wake up? …and also zip up your pants.

–Borders

Guy on phone: Well, I guess I thought you might be kind of gay after you invited me to that "no pants" party.

–Astoria

Wednesday One-Liners– Just Like Mom Used to Make!

Man to girlfriend: You know, I was never going to tell you this, but I really dislike your mother.

–M08 Bus

20-something girl on cell: Mmm-hmm. Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry he's such a jerk. (pause) Mmm-hmm. (pause, suddenly very angrily) Well, ain't no man allowed to say your mom isn't special!

–207th St & Broadway

Slob college kid: Why would I be staring at your mom's fifty-five-year-old ass, Rachel? No, wait, my mom's fifty-five… Why would I be staring at your mom's fifty-yea-old ass?

–LIRR

Teen girl setting up voicemail on phone: Hey! This is Katy. If you're not my mother, please leave a message.

–Metro-North Rail

Nanny to little boy sticking head under her top: No, no sweetie. See, this is something I would have to tell mommy about.

–42nd St & Lexington

Overheard by: Carolyn

Harry Potthead

Guy #1: I should get a wizard hat! Do they sell those?
Guy #2: Dude, that would be awesome!

–Thompson St

Overheard by: DantePulaski