Means You’ve Got the Run-Forrest-Runs

Girl in stall: Oooh, what is that little feeling in my tummy?

Bathroom, Bubba Gump, Universal CityWalk
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Kerberos

Chick: Oklahoma and Ohio — I always get those two mixed up.
Dude: Yeah.
Chick: Wait, which one is in the middle of the country?
Dude: Uh, they both are, kind of.
Chick: Oh, well, which one is a state?
Dude: Both.
Chick: Yeah, that’s why I get them mixed up!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/long-overdue-update-part-2.html

Overheard by: taranto

60-ish woman looking in door: I thought you had to have some hooters to be able to work at one.

Hooters
Burbank, California

Latina: … And so she taught her nephews how to put condoms on by having them practice putting them on her vibrator!
Boy toy: What the fuck? How old are they?
Latina: Eleven.

UCLA, Charles E. Young Drive
Los Angeles, California

Drunk guy #1 to guy he just met: I just get sick of people when they come over. My dad, my brother — after an hour, I’m sick of them.
Drunk guy #2: Oh, yeah?
Drunk guy #1: Yeah. And another thing I hate? Let’s say you come over tonight and spend the night — you can’t sleep on the couch.
Drunk guy #2: Why not? Where would I sleep?
Drunk guy #1: Because there are no sheets on it! I don’t want your body fluids on my couch. But you could sleep in the bed.

Panini’s
Cleveland Heights, Ohio

Overheard by: Is that an offer?

Very serious little boy to distracted mother: Do you know why I want a solar-powered light saber? Because it’s dangerous!

Southwest YMCA, Quito Avenue
Saratoga, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Chick: I just don’t want any commitments right now.
Dude: Can we still be fuck-buddies?

Caribou Coffee
Mendota Heights, Minnesota

Woman reading newspaper: I can’t believe how illiterate kids are these days. It says here that when they were asked who Joan of Arc was, many of them said she was Noah’s wife.
Girl: Who was she, Grandma?
Woman: She was the woman who grew her hair long and rode a horse naked.

Port Townsend, Washington

Shopkeeper: How’s your wife? Did they take her in to have the baby yet?
Shopper: Yeah, they took her in this morning to be seduced.

Bangor
Northern Ireland

Overheard by: limeinside

Girl, almost running into parking meter: Whoops.
Guy: Holy crap! Did you really just do that?
Girl: Shut up. [Guy gradually edges her off to the side.] … Are you trying to make me actually run into one?! [Guy laughs.] Ughhh, I am so withholding sex.
Guy: Wait, wait! I didn’t mean it!

Church Street and 7th Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: pedestrian