How He Convinced Her that Semen Is Brain Food

Man: I’ll give you 10 bucks if you can tell me what baseball team is popular in Philly.
Woman: Duh, it’s the Red Sox! …What? Boston is in Philly.
Man: Sweetie, Boston isn’t in Philly.
Woman: Don’t lie to me, you know how easy I fall for things!
Man: But Boston is in Massachusetts.
Woman: That’s what I said! –E 23rd St & Lex Overheard by: Lisa

How Many Hipsters Does It Take…?

Hipster speeding by on bike #1: If we get into any trouble, just let me do the talking.
Hipster speeding by on bike #2: I didn't know you spoke polish. –Greenpoint

Wednesdandrogynous One-Liners

Female customer: Is there a lock on the men's bathroom? Can I use it? No? Why? –Best Buy, Union Square Street vendor: That's a huh-morphradite. That's not the same thing we talkin' about. –Court St & Livingston St Overheard by: Jon A. Man to construction worker, waving people across street: That's women's work! –12th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: David Chick: But he was only a c-cup… –Marseille, Hell's Kitchen Overheard by: Ladle Tiny 14-year-old girl: I need a penis, yo! –Bard High School, Queens Overheard by: Sunny

California's Almost Far Enough

Hippie woman: Ma'am, what did you just feed my dog?
Elderly woman: A treat.
Hippie woman: What was it? Was it meat?
Elderly woman: Well, not really, it was a sausage.
Hippie woman: What is wrong with you?! My dog is a vegetarian! What if he had a food allergy?!
Elderly woman: Right. Go away. –Thompson Square Park Dog Run Overheard by: Klayton