Teen girl: Whenever I like a guy I get diarrhea. –8th Ave. & 16th St. Overheard by: Kevin Allan
Old school Brooklyn guy: They closed off 150 blocks in DC for this inauguration and where do you think all the people that live on those blocks are gonna park, if not here in the five boroughs? –Greenpoint Overheard by: Didi Hylobates
Guy: Dude, is it just me, or does it hurt when you pee too? –Port Authority Overheard by: Kris
Her: I don’t care how hungry I am, I’m not gonna eat a plate of somethin’ that looks like throw up!
Him: Well I’m gonna go inside and eat my throw up and you can wait out here or whatever, I don’t care. –1st Ave. between 6th & 7th St. Overheard by: K. Thor Jensen
Guy on Cell: Have you ever tried to masturbate while Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You” is playing in the background? Well, it’s more difficult than you think… –Port Authority Overheard by: Michael Roche
College Professor: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Female Student: I have one sister and a twin brother.
College Professor: Are you identical? –American Musical & Dramatic Academy, UWS
Guy: …and they were like, it’s gonna cost sixty, but you get the this, and the that, and for sixty five, you can also get the other thing. I was like, “I’ll just have the chicken.” –Port Authority Boss of People: I don’t have to get to work before my guys anymore. Because there are no guys! They’re all laid off. –Port Authority
Suit: Bran muffin.
Cashier: A bran muffin and what?
Suit: Just a bran muffin.
Cashier: Oh, I thought you said “coconut something”.
Suit: No, I don’t have coconut in the morning. –Au Bon Pain, 44th & Madison
A young woman wearing fairy wings, a tiara, and carrying noisemakers, is on her cell phone. Twit: No, I’m not going to get arrested, I have to work later. –RNC Protest Route
Urban woman: Those little Chinese people never even say “Excuse me”! They’re so fucking goddamn rude! –D Train