Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Best Quotes from 5-6 Weeks Ago
Like a quote? Get it on a shirt!
So It Wasn't Suicide?
Drunk girl, seeing tree fallen on car after rainstorm: Officer, it was the wind!
Police officer: Good detective work.
Passerby: Case solved.
--3rd St & Ave A
When God Closes a Wednesday One-Liner, He Opens a Window
Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. (pause) Please stand clear of the closing doors. (pause) Station police officer, please apprehend the man holding the doors in the 6th car. (pause, then doors close) Hahaha, that always works.
--B Train
Overheard by: JustMe
Conductor: The door in car number two is not working, if you are looking at this door not opening I recommend moving, youuuuuuuu might want to move.
--LIRR
Overheard by: Brian Broker
MTA engineer: Please use all exits. For the love of god, people, use all the doors to get out of the train. What the fuck, people, use the doors. Thank you.
--G Train
Overheard by: lolz
Conductor: Please stop holding the doors. (people continue to hold doors). I'm already on the clock, I have nowhere to be.
--A Train
Overheard by: oliviz
Disgruntled subway conductor: Listen up, y'all! This train needs to move! Do not try to hold open the doors! Do not run at closing doors! Do not stick anything in the doors! That includes arms, legs, obnoxiously expensive purses, children, animals, whatever! Let's go!
--1 Train
Overheard by: Sarah
Conductor: Please stand clear of the doors or it will bruise yo face.
--C Train
Overheard by: Chris
Kids Say the Darndest Wednesday One-Liners
Seven-year-old white boy in huge afro wig, screaming: Peace out, smokers! Peace out, jazz singers! Now, who wants my autograph?
--Playground, Houston St, Soho
Little boy with broken arm: I just won eight gold medals!
--Pier 46, Hudson River Park
Overheard by: skeptical james
Three-year-old boy: The night... why does it hurt?
--Flushing Playground
Six-year-old girl waiting for parents to pay the check, chanting: Hun-ger! Hun-ger! Hun-ger!
--Chinese Restaurant, Park Slope
Overheard by: Kendra
Little boy walking towards LIRR at rush-hour: How are we going to get through all of this?
--Penn Station
Overheard by: i feel the same way
Four-year-old boy: I gotta feelin... that tonight's gonna be a good night... that tonight's gonna be a good night... that tonight's gonna be a good good night!
--Hard Rock Cafe, Times Square
Overheard by: wooohoooo
Little girl, in Cro-Magnon section of museum: Mommy, you must have known these people. They look like you!
--American Museum of Natural History
See the Best of the Previous Week
