A hobo has a cardboard sign that says “Ninjas killed parents, need money for Kugn [sic] Fu lessons.”
A cop comes up, and the hobo says: I don’t know why. I’ve already had five police come by and bother me today.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Casey
(cf. This guy.)
- Posted on
- Cops, Death, Education, Fighting and ass kicking, Hobos, Homeless, Manhattan, Money & Class, Murder, Parents, People, Places, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Violence
Tween boy #1: There’s an excellent movie that’s rated R but should be rated PG-13. It’s producted by Stephen Cow and it’s called Kung Fu Hustle.
Tween boy #2: I’ve only seen one R-rated movie.
Tween boy #1: I’ve seen so many I’ve lost count.
–Uncle Liao’s, Park Slope
- Posted on
- Movies, Park Slope, Tweens
Guy: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Woman: Do I have cheese?
–Smith/9th Street station
- Posted on
- God Squad, Jesus, Subway stations, platforms, etc.
Hetard: What did you do that for?
Shetard: Because I love you.
Hetard: Why do you love me?
Shetard: If I have to answer that again this week, I will shoot myself.
–Port Authority
- Posted on
- Couples, Love, Port Authority, Questions, Relationships
Tourist guy: …Huh. What religion are you, anyway?
Hasidic guy: Um…I’m Jewish.
Tourist guy: Oh. Do you like America?
–L train
Queer #1: He told me he had an 8 inch penis.
Queer #2: Oh really?
Queer #1: It was only 8 inches if he put it in twice.
–L train
Overheard by: Marcus and Nate
- Posted on
- Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Penis, Queer guys
Woman: Nigga, where you goin’?
Boy: Mom, action figures!
Woman: Nigga, the action figures is right here!
–Toys R’ Us, Times Square
- Posted on
- Families, Ghetto Chicks, Kids, Moms, Pop Culture, Store, Times Square, Words
White guy #1: Dude, so I was like, moving in on this girl, and she was pruding. So she was saying, “I’m not that kind of girl, find someone else to hook up with.”
White guy #2: But you weren’t gonna let her off that easy.
White guy #1: Course not. So I’m like, “But I wanna hook up with you.” So then I’m like, “Wanna dance?” And she’s like, “Okay.” And then when we get on the dance floor, this girl who was like a total prude the entire time becomes a freak. She was just like rubbin’ up on my pee-pee and everything.
White guy #3: So you think you’re gonna hook up with her tonight?
White guy #1: Nah nah, the odds of her touching my pee-pee tonight are slim.
–Palladium, 14th Street
Overheard by: The Smut Gremlin
- Posted on
- Hook Ups, Manhattan, White People
Italian guy #1: For some guys, it’s all right.
Italian guy #2: The fucking Israelis started that shit.
Italian guy #1: I don’t see nothing wrong with it, if that’s what you’re into…
Italian guy #2: The day I wear a square-toed shoe, put me in the fucking ground!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: James
Hobo: You man, got a dollar?
Suit: Yeah, got change for a hundred?
–Water & Wall
- Posted on
- Assholes, Hobos, Money & Class, Suits
