Like Twix, It’s Two for Me, None for You

Tourist woman #1: I’d like to speak to a nun.
Receptionist lady: The nuns don’t talk to the public. You can meet with a priest. He’ll be available in an hour. Is anything wrong?
Tourist woman #1: We were going up for communion and the minister asked my friend if she was Catholic.
Receptionist lady: Is she Catholic?
Tourist woman #2: I’m Methodist. We take communion too.

— St. Patrick’s Cathedral Rectory

Overheard by: Traveler Bill

Posted on July 13, 2026
9 to 5-ers, Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Idiots, Rockefeller Center, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Tourists

Stuy Has Nothing to Do with This Conversation

Guy: So…this is Bedford Avenue, right?
Chick: Yeah…
Guy: So…are we in Bedford-Stuyvesant?

–Williamsburg

Posted on July 12, 2026
Girls, Guys, NYC Geography, Williamsburg

Careful, Lest They Seek Revenge

Preppy guy: I wonder what those nerds are up to over there.
Indian chick: How can you tell they’re nerds from over here?
Preppy guy: The only girl with them has a really fat ass and one of the guys has a ponytail.
Indian chick: That’s pretty harsh.
Preppy guy: I just said they’re nerds. I’m sure they’re great people. Probably better than anybody we know.
Indian chick: You think so?
Preppy guy: No. They’re nerds.

–McGolrick Park, Greenpoint

Posted on July 12, 2026
Brooklyn, Girls, Insults, Preppies

That’s Why It’s the Ironyvator

Dude #1: What’re you even talking about?
Dude #2: The thing with Cheryl.
Dude #1: What’s wrong with you? That was this morning! Get over it, already!
Dude #2: Uh…what’d you think I was talking about?
Dude #1: The asshole who shoved past us on the escalator.
Dude #2: Oh…I didn’t notice.
Dude #1: See? That kind of thing, that’s what Cheryl was talking about. She has a point, you know.

–Penn Station

Posted on July 11, 2026
Guys, Penn Station, Questions, Talking/Convos, Time

Then a Colony, and Then an Island

Girl: Didn’t you say pubic hair came back in style?
Guy #1: Yes, thank god. I hated the Brazilian wax. Made me feel like a pedophile.
Guy #2: What’s a Brazilian wax?
Girl: It’s when everything goes. Totally bare.
Guy #1: Yeah. Brazilian originally meant “ass wax only.”
Guy #2: And then it became a country?

–West Broadway between Thomas & Duane

Posted on July 11, 2026
Friends, Stupidity, Waxing

Were It a Guy, It Would Be Foreplay

Jason Mraz: I pride myself on trying to be a normal guy–
Girl in audience: Let’s have sex!
Jason Mraz: –See, that’s not normal. Hey, and since this is technically my place of work, isn’t that sexual harrassment?

–Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Amelia Stanley

Posted on July 10, 2026
Celebrities Overheard, Girls, Sex, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

It’s Like a Steven Wright Wet Dream

HS boy #1: Okay, who’s Pavlov?
HS boy #2: I don’t know, it doesn’t ring a bell.

–N train

Overheard by: Tania D, who “almost died laughing”

Posted on July 10, 2026
On the Subway, Psychology, Students, Stupidity, Teens

Tales From the Dork Continent

Guy: What language is that?
Girl #1: French.
Guy: Where are you girls from?
Girl #1: Morocco.
Guy: Oh, it’s really beautiful there. Really wealthy too, right?
Girl #2: That’s Monaco.

–Elevator, Lexington between 31st & 32nd

Hipster guy: So where are you from originally?
Cabbie: West Africa.
Hipster guy: Oh, really? Where?
Cabbie: Africous.
Hipster guy: Where?
Cabbie: Afri-cous*.
Hipster guy: Wow. I thought I knew all the countries in Africa.
Cabbie: Yes, you know it. It is beautiful.

–Astoria cab

*Ivory Coast through a West African accent.

Overheard by: Martha K, also in the cab

Girl #1: Seriously, don’t ask me to go dancing if we’re not in South America.
Girl #2: Ha, ha. Yeah. What about Europe?
Girl #1: Eh…
Girl #2: Like, Spain.
Girl #1: Yeah, I guess Spain. And maybe Morocco.
Girl #2: Morocco is in Africa.
Girl #1: Pretend like I didn’t just say that.
Girl #2: Now I understand why you dropped out of college!

–1 train

Overheard by: h. goldmine