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Southern woman: Why George, I’m just so proud of yew; I thought yew’d be grossed out by the Blue Man Group.

–Marriott Marquis, Times Square

Overheard by: Beantown Interloper

Queer #1: I like being a corporate lawyer. Being “The Man” is awesome.
Queer #2: Because you’re not “the man” in the bedroom.

–Therapy, W. 52nd Street

Woman #1: Oh, look over there… that is just tragic.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Ugly twins.

–15th & 5th

Overheard by: Manhattman

Drunk Asian girl: We should totally go salsa dancing.
Drunk white girl: Yeah, that would be so fun.
Drunk Asian girl: We’d be the only white people there, though.

–J train

Overheard by: Jim VB

NYU girl: So do they like hate everyone?
NYU boy: No, not everyone; just white people.

–Union Square

Girl #1: Are you stinking up the room?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I haven’t eaten in like three days. I would love to take a shit right now.

–Flatiron Lounge ladies’ room, W. 19th Street

Overheard by: Babs Monroe

Girl #1: I so passed out last night. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out like a truck.
Girl #2: …A what?

–Inwood

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Roach coach guy: How was your trip?
Hipster girl: Oh good! But I didn’t go…

–31st & 6th

Overheard by: Stephanie Landry

Old man #1: Whatever happened to her?
Old man #2: Oh…her? She died.
Old man #1: She died?
Old man #2: Yeah. She died.
Old man #1: Did you kill her?

–Fort Greene

Ghetto HS girl: Oh please! You thought you was lookin’ all fly, comin’ out wit yo five dolla t-shirt, do-rag and boots. Tryin’ ta holla at a girl. Sorry nigga, you ain’t the one.
Ghetto HS boy: I’m sorry for ya, ma. Thinkin’ I was tryin’ to get wit you. Head gettin’ all big…when you all busted. Playin’ mix tapes on ya face.

–R train

Overheard by: Cinnamaniac

Girl #1: The next stop is ours.
Girl #2: How are we going to get out? Are we allowed to push people?

–6 train