Charity mugger: Excuse me, do you have a minute to talk about Children International?
Guy: Yeah…right.
Charity mugger: You don’t have to be such a jerk about it.
Guy: Actually I do. You see, that’s sort of my thing.
–Union Square South
Overheard by: stu-ee
Mom: Stop giving your sister the evil eye! What did I tell you about giving people the evil eye?
Little boy: That they would be sent to Hell forever to live with the devil.
–Bx22 bus
Bookchick #1: I had to go and see a circumcision yesterday. Any mother who does that to their son is evil and should burn in Hell.
Bookchick #2: Yeah, but it’s much more hygienic.
Bookchick #1: So? Your labia gets dirty too.
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Vic Payback
Asian guy: We ain’t no typical Asian niggas.
Desi guy: Yeah yo, we got black in us.
–Axis men’s room, Flushing
Overheard by: trufo
- Posted on
- Bars & Clubs, Black Asians, Race
Howard Dean: …I think Ferrer can win–
Man: Mr. Dean! I would have voted for you, man!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…
Man: I would have voted for you if you remove all the poison in your
body!…I would have voted for you if you loved America! You would have been a great president, but only if you weren’t so poisonous!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Steve Gartland
- Posted on
- A-List, Assholes, Insults, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Politicians, Politics, President, Talking/Convos
A hobo has a cardboard sign that says “Ninjas killed parents, need money for Kugn [sic] Fu lessons.”
A cop comes up, and the hobo says: I don’t know why. I’ve already had five police come by and bother me today.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Casey
(cf. This guy.)
- Posted on
- Cops, Death, Education, Fighting and ass kicking, Hobos, Homeless, Manhattan, Money & Class, Murder, Parents, People, Places, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Violence
Tween boy #1: There’s an excellent movie that’s rated R but should be rated PG-13. It’s producted by Stephen Cow and it’s called Kung Fu Hustle.
Tween boy #2: I’ve only seen one R-rated movie.
Tween boy #1: I’ve seen so many I’ve lost count.
–Uncle Liao’s, Park Slope
- Posted on
- Movies, Park Slope, Tweens
Guy: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Woman: Do I have cheese?
–Smith/9th Street station
- Posted on
- God Squad, Jesus, Subway stations, platforms, etc.
Hetard: What did you do that for?
Shetard: Because I love you.
Hetard: Why do you love me?
Shetard: If I have to answer that again this week, I will shoot myself.
–Port Authority
- Posted on
- Couples, Love, Port Authority, Questions, Relationships
Tourist guy: …Huh. What religion are you, anyway?
Hasidic guy: Um…I’m Jewish.
Tourist guy: Oh. Do you like America?
–L train
Queer #1: He told me he had an 8 inch penis.
Queer #2: Oh really?
Queer #1: It was only 8 inches if he put it in twice.
–L train
Overheard by: Marcus and Nate
- Posted on
- Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Penis, Queer guys
