Queer: Can you hold this shirt for me ’til tomorrow?
Shop trannie: No, we can’t put costumes on hold.
Queer: Well, I want to be, like, this Louis XIV go-go boy, and I already got the short shorts and everything, and this shirt would go perfect but I just can’t afford it ’til tomorrow.
–Halloween Adventure, 4th Avenue
Overheard by: sharyn jackson
Girl: Do you have any more slut-nurses?
Counter guy: No, we’re all out of slut-nurses, but we have some slut-devils and some slut-flight attendents.
–Ricky’s, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Guy: What’s she going as for Halloween?
Girl: A newsie.
Guy: Oh.
Girl: I knew she’d steal my idea, stupid ho-bag.
–Elevator, Water Street Residence
Overheard by: Dan & Travis
Guy: I’ve always loved this mask, it’s so cool.
Girl: Yeah, I guess.
Guy: I mean, I guess I should, considering…
Girl: Right.
Guy: I mean, I was in the movie.
Girl: That was like a decade ago.
Guy: So?
Girl: Yeah, but you were a fucking extra. And you didn’t even have a single line.
–Ricky’s, 22nd & 3rd
Guy: What is this, All Harlots’ Eve?
–3rd Avenue & 8th Street
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Copygirl: UK?
Chick: The United Kingdom.
Copygirl: The United Kingdom? Where’s that? Hey, Joyce! Where’s the United Kingdom?
Chick: …England. In Europe.
Copygirl: But I don’t see it here. British Columbia, Quebec, British
Isles, but no United Kingdom.
–Kinko’s, Duane Street
Overheard by: Jess McGins
- Posted on
- Girls, Global Geography, Idiots, Store, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Vendors & Street Performers
Girl #1: I actually showered before I saw you today, aren’t you impressed?
Girl #2: Uh, yeah.
Girl #1: Yeah, I had to…I smelled like old sex.
–Republic, Union Square
Overheard by: Sasha
- Posted on
- Hootchies, Scents of the City, Union Square and East Village
Girl: If I don’t take a monster shit soon, I’m going to explode.
Guy: You should have a salad.
Girl: Salads don’t make me shit. Coffee and cigarettes make me shit.
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Overheard by: Gorodish
Showering girl #1: So, I’m thinking of getting a tattoo.
Showering girl #2: Oh really? I have one on my ankle!
Showering girl #1: What’s it of?
Showering girl #2: Well, it’s not so much a tattoo as, I guess, a birthmark.
Showering girl #1: …Well, does that hurt?
–NYU Palladium Gym, E. 14th Street
- Posted on
- Bimbettes, Body Parts, Gyms, Stupidity, Tattoos
Flyers guy: Here ladies–free comedy show.
Tourist girl: No, thanks.
Flyers guy: Come on. It’s free.
Tourist girl: Yeah, but, we don’t like humor.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ashley Gordon
- Posted on
- Street, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Tourists
Woman: What are you waiting for?
Girl: We’re seeing Saturday Night Live.
Woman: Oh! When does it tape?
Girl: Today. Saturday. Live. Saturday…Night…Live.
Woman: Well, it could be a repeat!
Girl: Do you really think I would come here and sit in a studio for a repeat?
–GE Building lobby, Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Shannon
- Posted on
- Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Tourist Attractions, TV, Women
Queer #1: I can’t believe he wouldn’t go out with me.
Queer #2: Well, he didn’t think you could play the bongos. And he was right.
Queer #1: I know, but it’s not like I can’t learn.
Queer #2: Oh God, you’re giving me a boner.
–Greenwich & West 12th
- Posted on
- Dating, Erections, Gays and Lesbians, Instruments, Queer guys, West Village
Girl: Oh my god, what is that smell?
Boy: Yeah, what is that?
Hobo fort: It’s my big fat cock!
–57th & 6th
- Posted on
- Hobos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Scents of the City
Black woman: I’ll mess you up! I’ll be waiting for you downstairs, you man-on-man faggot! White trash!
White queer: You don’t scare me! I’ve dealt with the feds, I can
deal with you!
–Welfare office, Boerum Hill
Overheard by: Sheep Overhearder
Black woman: Take that bag off your back.
White man: All it takes are two words: “excuse” and “me”.
Black woman: I’m not saying nothing to you.
White man: Sorry, I see that you only use your mouth for one thing, and that’s sucking dick.
Black woman: You are so rude. Take that back.
White man: Okay, I am sorry. I take it back. You also use your mouth for eating, as seen by the size of your enormous ass.
–4/5 train
- Posted on
- Ass, Assholes, BJs, Black People, Brooklyn, Diet/Weight, Insults, On the Subway, Queer guys, White People
