Black woman: I’ll mess you up! I’ll be waiting for you downstairs, you man-on-man faggot! White trash!
White queer: You don’t scare me! I’ve dealt with the feds, I can
deal with you!
–Welfare office, Boerum Hill
Overheard by: Sheep Overhearder
Black woman: Take that bag off your back.
White man: All it takes are two words: “excuse” and “me”.
Black woman: I’m not saying nothing to you.
White man: Sorry, I see that you only use your mouth for one thing, and that’s sucking dick.
Black woman: You are so rude. Take that back.
White man: Okay, I am sorry. I take it back. You also use your mouth for eating, as seen by the size of your enormous ass.
–4/5 train
- Posted on
- Ass, Assholes, BJs, Black People, Brooklyn, Diet/Weight, Insults, On the Subway, Queer guys, White People
Girl: I hear more Polish than English in my neighborhood.
Guy: You should write about that.
–The Magician, Rivington Street
Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher
- Posted on
- Books & Writing, Friends, Languages, Parks
Guy #1: Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt but can I ask you for a favor?
guy #2: Uh, sure.
Guy #1: I’m trying to raise $2 to buy a forty, can you help me out?
Guy #2: A forty? Uh, I have an orange if you want.
Guy #1: Nah, I live in front of a fruit stand.
–8th Street between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: E Martinez
- Posted on
- Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Hobos, Street, The Village
Fratboy #1: Dude, if he like, never went out at all and studied all the time, he could get As.
Fratboy #2: Yeah, but what’s the point in that?
Fratboy #1: What does he want to do again?
Fratboy #2: Well, he’ll never be good at business because he can’t hold his liquor.
Fratboy #1: We’ll have to help him out.
–Columbia University
Old lady: Julian! Get in the elevator, we are holding it for you.
Old man: I am in the elevator, it’s just my ass that was dragging behind.
–Apartment building, 66th & West End
Overheard by: Lubes
Old lady: I’m not moving until the light says go.
Old man: Yeah, you don’t want to get that rundown feeling.
–Crown Heights
Overheard by: Jamie Lloyd
Little girl: Mommy, I’m getting wet! I don’t want to get wet!
Mommy: Yeah? Well, I’m getting wet too, Samantha! That’s life!
–116th & Lexington
Overheard by: JMP
- Posted on
- Kids, Moms, Philosophy, Upper East Side
Tween girl #1: So like apparently my brother is engaged.
Tween girl #2: Really? Since when?
Tween girl #1: I dunno, found out at breakfast this morning.
Tween girl #2: Didn’t he like just finish high school?
Tween girl #1: Yeah, but she’s like still 17 and she’s got a two year old so she’s way worse off than him.
Tween girl #2: Well is it his kid?
Tween girl #1: Who knows? He’s not tellin’.
Tween girl #2: Probably is…what a man-ho slut wedder.
–F train
Overheard by: Supertramp
- Posted on
- Advice, Age/Aging, Family Ties, Girls, Insults, On the Subway, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Tweens
Teen boy: My puppy is probably going to die soon.
Teen girl: Aw, when?
Teen boy: Probably by next September, he’ll be a corpse.
Teen girl: Wait, why?
Teen boy: He has obsessive-compulsive disorder.
–Central Park
- Posted on
- Central Park, Death, Girls, Guys, Psychology, Stupidity, Teens, We Love Our Pets
Girl #1: Wow, your eyes look totally awesome. Is that from the pot?
Girl #2: Yeah, I think so.
Girl #1: It’s so cool. They look amazingly green.
–N train
Waiter: I assume you guys are on a date?
Guy #1: Yep.
Waiter: I just love seeing two nice young men together, so I brought you key lime shots to go with the key lime pie. Enjoy.
Guy #2: Bitch, you’ll do anything for alcohol.
–East of Eighth, W. 23rd Street
