Girl #1: Do you have a cold or something?
Girl #2: No…It’s my allergies. It’s not like this where I’m from.
Girl #1: Where are you from again?
Girl #2: Arizona.
Girl #1: Oh, pollen and stuff?
Girl #2: No, all these crowds and their germs. It’s not like that out West.
–C train
Overheard by: BBW
Girl: Shoot! I’m sorry.
Guy: So where are you from? Because I know it’s not New York if you say “shoot!”.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Overheard by: Jeff Hubbard
Guy on cell: Yeah, yeah, it’s pretty cool out here I guess…you should totally come visit…It’s just…sometimes I feel like New York is just one big Ann Arbor.
–Houston & Suffolk
Overheard by: jesse
Man: We’re not from here. We’re from Pennsylvania, where they’re normal.
–B63 bus
Waiter: How was everything tonight?
Woman: Absolutely wonderful! This was some of the best Mexican food I’ve ever had! And you can take my word for it. I’m from Colorado. We know Mexican food.
–Mexico Lindo, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Carol
Guy: Whenever I tell anyone I’m from San Francisco, they always ask
me if I’m gay. Yes, I’m gay, and my mom is gay, and my dad is gay too!
Girl: I’m from San Francisco as well.
–Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg
- Posted on
- Queer guys, Tourists, U.S. Geography, Williamsburg
Smoker guy #1: …I won’t be in on Thursday cause of Yom Kippur.
Smoker guy #2: You can’t come to work?
Smoker guy #1: Can’t work, can’t eat, can’t drink.
Smoker guy #2: Can’t eat or drink anything?
Smoker guy #1: Nothing from sundown to sundown.
Smoker guy #2: Jesus!
Smoker guy #1: Wrong.
–49th & 8th
Part of a building under construction fell off into another house, summoning 10 fire trucks.
Lady: See? Maybe this will teach those Jews from building them so high.
–Williamsburg
Boss lady: She needs to get her ass back to work and finish this shit up. I hate these 2 days Jews; tomorrow she’ll be eating a bacon cheeseburger.
–Office, Wall Street
Hippie guy on cell: Nathan, I don’t care how drunk you were, if you’re giving a blowjob, you know you’re giving a blowjob.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mr. Donutsu
Guy on cell: When you get here I will make you breakfast sausage. And I am not talking euphemistically.
–63rd & 1st
Overheard by: Alison Foster
- Posted on
- Food, Friends, Sex, Times Square
Guy: …And then I nutted all over her face, but like, not in a demeaning way.
–Weinstein Hall, University Place
- Posted on
- All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Cum, Guys, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Stupidity
Old lady: Lots of people take pills and don’t get addicted. It’s a personality issue. When I had my shoulder done, I had no pain. But I woke up and the nurse said, “Do you want a morphine shot?” And I said, “Sure, I’ll try it! Why the hell not?”
–Broadway & 69th
Girl: Well, tell Joe my fist has a suggestion for his face.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
- Posted on
- All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Fordham, Girls, Guys, Punch, Students, The Bronx, Violence
Girl: You’ve been going out with him for two months and only now did you realize he has one testicle.
–Spring & West Broadway
- Posted on
- Balls, Dating, One-liners, Relationships, Soho
Two people are making out.
Guy #2: That’s just wrong.
Girl #2: You just don’t understand, it’s love.
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s been love since Friday night at the bar.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
